Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sometimes, too many times, there are just no answers.

Our community has suffered a tragic loss.  The loss of a Freshman boy at the high school.  By suicide.  A family has suffered an unimaginable, there are no words to explain it kind of loss.  By suicide.

Word came on Sunday afternoon about this boy's suicide earlier that morning.  I don't personally know this family and I don't know all of the details, but my community is small and we hear things.  Apparently he was depressed and on meds.

Big E did not personally know this boy.  But they did share a class together last year and Big E immediately knew who it was when he heard about it.

The school had a moment of silence yesterday.  They sent a parent email letting us know a death had occurred and how they were handling it with the students and how we might be able to help at home.

Well, let me tell you people, I am not equipped for this. 

First of all, I have been on the verge of tears for this boy's family.  And his friends.  And for him, that he felt so desperate that this was his answer.  My family is peppered with mental health issues and suicide. Each one affected me differently, which is expected based on my ages at the times of the events and my relationships with the victims. But I know how confusing and hard each of those tragedies were for me. And none of them WERE.MY.CHILD.   I.just.can't.imagine. 

Secondly, Big E and even Sous Chef, who hears us talking, have had questions about depression and why and how it happens.  I am not a doctor.  I don't even play one on TV.  So I answer the best I can with what I know.  I beg them not to ever do anything like this.  To themselves.  To me.  To our family.

I repeat.  I am not equipped for this.


  1. I don't think anyone ever is.

    I'm so sorry for all involved.

  2. I am with AMOS above. No one is ever equipped, and my thoughts are with everyone involved.

    I had a teeny mental health prevention and intervention lesson typed here, but now is not the time for lectures and education. Now is time for healing, and I hope so much that you and all involved (no matter how great or small the involvement) are able to find it.

  3. There's just no way to prepare yourself, because every loss is different. It's all tragic in a different way.

    I've lost three people to suicide recently. Some close, some not so but every single one floored me in a whole new and awful way.

    You almost don't realize how much of an impact someone has on you until they are gone.
    And when you can put your child's face on a loss, it's devastating.

    We moms have this common thread running through us that makes each child our own. It can be beautiful but it can also bring us to our knees.

  4. That happened in my town a couple years back...and I remember just sitting and crying.

    And I'm in complete agreement, that no one is ever equipped for this.

    Big hugs to you...

  5. I don't know if you know Hallie, of Wonderful World of Wieners, but her son committed suicide a few months ago. It is so hard to watch her suffer so much--People who choose suicide hurt their families a LOT. I guess that tells you how desperate they are;I'm guessing not many would deliberately put their families through that.