Monday, August 23, 2010

I was so sure...

...but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Someone at BlogHer told me I should change my blog title to "Foot in Mouth" (or something similar to that) after I told a couple stories about my blogging experiences. After this current real life experience, I'm seriously considering it.

It started out perfectly, chatting with CJ's homeroom teacher, introducing ourselves and sharing information. CJ was polite and cute.

We then go to meet his switch teacher who he will have for math and reading. He is on his best behavior, while his mama makes the biggest social faux pas ever.

Me: "When's your baby due?" (Yes, people, I asked that question. The question that no one should ask unless the woman is on the ground with a baby's head visually crowning between her legs.  And even then, it's risky. WHAT in the hell was I thinking?)

Teacher: "I'm not pregnant."

Me: thinks "holy fuck!" but says, "Oh, I am so sorry," and then babble on like an idiot about how every year we have at least one pregnant teacher and my eyes were seeing things that clearly weren't there because of that expectation.

The teacher was perfectly nice and explained she did have a baby less than four months ago. However, I fear after I left she put a big black mark next to CJ's name with a notation that says, "The mother is a socially awkward bitch."


  1. The visual of the crowning baby...during my breakfast...thank you for that :) I'm having bran flakes; will you be eating feet this morning?

  2. Meh. I texted my daughter about my other daughter this morning, and sent it to the wrong daughter. Ha!

    We all make mistakes. If she's a good teacher, it won't affect your son's grades. ;)

  3. OMG! I witnessed the exact situation at my daughter's packet pick up at school the other day. I was talking with a friend and another mother walked up and asked my friend when her baby is due! My friend responded, "umm, no, I'm not pregnant", then the woman replied, "Shut up! Yes you are!", and friend was, like, "No, I'm not".
    Awkward silence...

  4. Oh no! It sounds like you back peddled well enough though.

  5. Oh yes. The crowning baby comment made me laugh out loud. And it takes a lot to get me to do that (I do, however, laugh on the inside a lot). I remember the 4 month post-baby mark as right about the time when I realized you can't use the "I just had a baby" excuse anymore. However, it is 3 1/2 years later and I'm still using it.

  6. omg thanks for my morning laugh....but i am so jealous you got to blogher! was it wonderful, great, or letdown? lol holla!

  7. holy hell - that stinks! I did that a few years ago - and now I NEVER - EVER - ask any woman if she is pg

  8. My daughter wears scrubs to work...she's a nurse...and gets asked all the time if she is pregnant. (She does NOT look pregnant; scrubs just fit on her weird I guess). You can imagine how much she appreciates this.

    I have been asked this as well when NOT pregnant. Funny thing is, I never 'showed' until far into my pregnancies.

    And now you know the story of my life. :-)