Monday, July 19, 2010

I'm not a people person.

This may come as a surprise.  It may not be a surprise at all if you read here very often.  I am sure I have mentioned this in the past, but I am too lazy to go back and look at all of my posts to see if/when/how often I have written about this.  I find in general, that a lot of people are not my kind of people.  But the people I do have in my life I think are the coolest of the cool!

I keep flashing back to a conversation I had with my BFF when we were in Hawaii last year.  We both went to all-inclusive resorts for our honeymoons.  If you've been, you know you pretty much see the same people for the entire time you are there - at the restaurants, at the beach, at parties, at excursions, etc.  I don't remember exactly what she and I were talking about, but she said something like, "Remember on your honeymoon when you met other couples..."  I'm pretty sure my fresh Hawaiian tanned face went pale and I started convulsing in fear at the thought of conversing with strangers.  I laughed and said, "Are you serious?  I don't like people,  MG doesn't like people.  We are not people people and we didn't talk to anyone except maybe for a passing hello.  Oh, and to order a drink."  That's the kind of people person I am.  Or not.

I guess this is currently on my mind with this BlogHer event coming up.  I keep thinking about all those people that will be there and how I am going to have to smile and chit chat.  And be nice.  Kind of like networking, which I am not good at.  See, the thing is, I do like most people once I get to know them.  But that takes time and we only have a weekend for this gala and that may not be long enough for me.  Or it may be TOO long.  I do find there are often people I like immediately.  I meet someone and I automatically think "this is one cool chick/dude and I know I will love to hang with her/him."  Some of you I already like through your blogs and talking to you personally via e-mails and Facebook and I can't wait to meet you in person.  The other 1,999 people?  Yikes. 

Through a somewhat tragic event in the past, I discovered that I may have missed out on some good friendships by making quick judgements.  I am better, but I still need improvement.  And a weekend of struggling with ignorning my first impressions of people (though when it's a REALLY strong impression, I totally go with it!) is going to exhaust me.  But I know it will be worth it.  Totally worth it, because I will meet a lot of really cool people.  I do like socializing once I get up and running and I am fun to be with.  Well, at least I think so.  It just takes a while for me to warm up, relax and find the "best" of me in these situations.  So if you are reading this and you meet me at BlogHer, please be gentle.  I promise, I will come around.  I ask that if your first impression of me is "What a snotty bitch," that you give me a second chance.  It's really just me struggling in a crowd.

3 comments:

  1. I think that a lot of people there will be just like you. I've met lots of bloggers in real life here and there, and it seems that the loudest ones online are the quietest in person! Maybe sitting alone and writing correlates with not wanting to be around people and talking somehow.

    You'll be fine.

    I'll see you there!

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  2. I hate to admit it, but I have NO girlfriends and never have. Why? Because friendship takes attention and interest and I have none. In my youth, women talked about their BAAAABIES and their POOOOOOP and I was bored to death.

    Now, they talk about their GRANDchildren and THEIR poop and I'm bored to death.

    I'm always the one at the party sitting at a table in the corner. I've been called a wallflower. Do wallflowers sit there thinking "I hate this. I hate people. I wanna go home."

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  3. I am pretty shy when I don't know people. With crowds I know well I am very outgoing and I wish I was a bit more outgoing when around new people. I try but if I seem a little snob-ish it is probably just because I'm feeling shy and overwhelmed.

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