Monday, May 24, 2010

From bridesmaid to not invited

I have not been in a lot of weddings.  Besides my own, I have been in four weddings.  I have been asked to be in a total of six weddings.  You do the math.  Obviously, two of those weddings never happened.  Of those weddings that did take place, I had awesome dresses for two of them.  The last wedding, which was in 2003, I believe, I had an awesome and rather expensive Vera Wang bridesmaid dress.  It has been altered so much, I doubt I could squeeze my fat ass into it these days.  Although now that I've said that, when I am done with this post, I may just go see whether or not it still fits.

Anyway, that was the wedding of a friend of my husand's.  During the relationship of boy (who was in OUR wedding) and girl, I became friends with the girl and was very honored to be in their wedding.  It had been a relationship that had some unkowns over time and I had been rather outspoken about the events that took place.  I know, you are shocked to hear that.

Fast forward to 2007-2008 and that marriage came to an end.  Let it be known, that is the only one of the weddings I have been in that has ended.  I had a great a great streak going.  There was one of two reasons to ask me to be in your wedding - the first reason was because if I was in it, it all but guaranteed you would have a long and happy marriage or second, ask me to be in it if you wanted to back out.  I also had a good streak going of weddings I was asked to be in coming to a crashing and ugly halt.   Streak numbe one ended when boy and girl divorced.

Back to the marriage that ended.  Over the years of my family moving out of state and then back again and our circle of friends changing after her divorce, we do not see each other on a regular basis.  We see each other a couple of times a year at big events - milestone birthday parties, holiday parties, etc.  We are Facebook friends and we do e-mail each other on occasion.

In a few weeks, this friend is getting married again.  This is a good thing and I am sure it is a permanent thing.  There are so many aspects of this relationship that are perfect for her.  But me?  Once the bridesmaid?  We aren't invited to the wedding.  I never expected to be asked to be a bridesmaid based on our current relationshiop.  But I am not sure what to think about not being invited to the wedding.  Maybe she thinks I am a curse?  Maybe, like so many weddings and occasions, they are on a budget and/or space constraint and I didn't make the cut.  I am ok with this and certainly will not hold it against her.  But I am disappointed.  And a little sad.


  1. About a month ago, some friends from work got married. I'm far better friends with the male half of this duo than I am the female. We've worked together for several years, and talk and joke around every time we work together. We're also facebook friends, etc. Anyway, when he started dating our coworker, I was a supportive ear, and have remained such as their relationship grew and they became engaged, etc. We're just really good friends.

    Anyway, flash forward to their wedding. I honestly thought some of us from the store would be invited. We've watched the relationship grow, etc., and I honestly thought I would be invited. I kept sort of waiting for the invite, talked to him a lot about the wedding beforehand, etc. The night of the wedding rolled around and, well, I wasn't at the wedding.

    I later found out they didn't invite anyone from the store, but instead kept the wedding to just their family and some close family friends. Cost reasons and such. I can understand, but it still felt a little weird not being there to help them celebrate their union.

  2. Well, send a card with a nice note; I'm sure she'll be touched (and will feel guilty.)