Friday, May 28, 2010

Friday Fragments

Wow, I don't even know how long it's been since I participated in Mrs. 4444's Friday Fragments.  But here I am, because I don't have one coherent thought, I just have a lot of fragmented thoughts!

My BFF and her kids are here from Guam until JULY!  Her hubs is here for a week.  We had them over for dinner this week and will get to see them frequently (I hope!) during her visit.

My Kansas City friends are visiting for several days.  Three moms and six kids will be pulling in and hanging out with us until next week.  Woo-hoo!  Based on our last three years of trips mom/kids trips together, I am hoping for a bedbug free, tornado free, vomit free visit.

My youngest son, CJ, just can't keep his shit together on the bus.  Twice I've been called by the principal because he has mooned the kids.  He also seems to have a problem staying in his seat.  The principal called yesterday because the bus driver wrote him up for it.  (I should probably mention that the bus driver hates me.  I have a hard time remembering to go out to the bus stop to get him.  {Go ahead, judge my bad parenting.}  I personally think he should be able to get off the bus and walk to our house.  We are two houses into a culdesac and he is more than capable of making that walk  But NOOOOO, the school district thinks that's a bad idea and apparently as a parent I don't know what is safe for my kid and what is not.  So we frequently get calls from the bus driver to come out and get him.  Last call she said from now on, she would not call, she would just take him back to the school and I can pick him up there.)

I am so very ready for school to be out.  In August, I will be so very ready for school to start.

Sous Chef informed me, after an extended conversation about a man we saw running without his shirt, that if he saw a woman running without her shirt he would have to "stare away from THAT."

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Facebook Friend Request. Ignore.

I recently had two FB friend requests.  I ignored them both.  Have you ever done that?  Do you feel guilty about it?

I have a rule for FB - no parental types.  That doesn't mean if you are a parent, I won't friend you.  What it means is, if you have a parental-like relationship with me, it's a no go on FB.  No MIL, no aunts/uncles, not my own parents (if they were on FB).  Kind of like this blog.  Those people and I tend to have VERY different views on life.  I don't need them seeing any more of my snark than they see in person.  I also don't need them to know more than they already do, let alone what my FB friends are doing.  I like to draw a line between family and friends.  Kind of like separation of church and state.  I support both, but I don't want them linked together.  And I like some privacy.  Well, as much privacy as I can have on FB and blogging, right?

The other rule is that your FB request is denied if you are an inflammatory poster.  You know, posting updates that incite a riot or are hateful or result in lots of negative and ugly comments between commenters.  I had a "friend" on FB like that.  She had considered joining my moms group and then she friended me.  But she posted one day some anti-homosexual comments.  I don't mind differing opinions than my own, I just ask that one express their opinions in a respectful way.  So I "unfriended" her.  She has now asked to be friends again.  I clicked on "ignore."  (Oh, and thankfully, she didn't join my moms group.)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I gave it my below average. And I'm proud of it.

It's not often one will readily admit to not doing their best.  I especially fall into that category.  At minimum, I go for "good enough", which means doing whatever "it" is 100% to my satisfaction/standards.  That doesn't mean it meets anyone else's standards, but it meets mine and that's really all that matters (unless of course my husband is involved and then I can compromise and by that I mean I can usually get him to see it my way).

Well, today, I consciously gave it my below average.  At work. 

If you don't know, I am a licensed massage therapist.  I am pretty good at what I do.  I try to do better than "good enough".  I try to do my best.  Sometimes I'm even better than that.

Not today.  Today I was one of two therapists in a couples massage.  This session was with two women clients, one who is moving out of state later this week.  They talked the entire time.  I'm cool with that.  I can either tune them out or listen in and get any good gossip I can.  The client who is moving was talking about what was in their new area to do this summer.  The topic of an amusement park came up.  Then the client said, "But I hear it's kind of 'dark'".  At first I thought, "what kind of outside amusement park (which this one is) doesn't make use of the sunshine during the day and lights at night?"  Then I got it.  The more she talked about other things, I realized she was totally referring to the "type" of people who populated the park.  It was that very moment, that moment when reality set in, that my massage therapy skills tanked.  I mean really tanked.  I couldn't remember hardly anything from massage therapy school.  It was like I never passed the Ohio Medical Board exam.  Those gzillion hours of school, studying and outreach work?  Never happened.

Okay.  It wasn't really THAT bad.  But it was clearly one of the worst massages I have ever given.  I promise, anyone could have given her the level of massage I gave today.  No education or training necessary.  And as far as I am concerned, she got better than she deserved.

Monday, May 24, 2010

From bridesmaid to not invited

I have not been in a lot of weddings.  Besides my own, I have been in four weddings.  I have been asked to be in a total of six weddings.  You do the math.  Obviously, two of those weddings never happened.  Of those weddings that did take place, I had awesome dresses for two of them.  The last wedding, which was in 2003, I believe, I had an awesome and rather expensive Vera Wang bridesmaid dress.  It has been altered so much, I doubt I could squeeze my fat ass into it these days.  Although now that I've said that, when I am done with this post, I may just go see whether or not it still fits.

Anyway, that was the wedding of a friend of my husand's.  During the relationship of boy (who was in OUR wedding) and girl, I became friends with the girl and was very honored to be in their wedding.  It had been a relationship that had some unkowns over time and I had been rather outspoken about the events that took place.  I know, you are shocked to hear that.

Fast forward to 2007-2008 and that marriage came to an end.  Let it be known, that is the only one of the weddings I have been in that has ended.  I had a great a great streak going.  There was one of two reasons to ask me to be in your wedding - the first reason was because if I was in it, it all but guaranteed you would have a long and happy marriage or second, ask me to be in it if you wanted to back out.  I also had a good streak going of weddings I was asked to be in coming to a crashing and ugly halt.   Streak numbe one ended when boy and girl divorced.

Back to the marriage that ended.  Over the years of my family moving out of state and then back again and our circle of friends changing after her divorce, we do not see each other on a regular basis.  We see each other a couple of times a year at big events - milestone birthday parties, holiday parties, etc.  We are Facebook friends and we do e-mail each other on occasion.

In a few weeks, this friend is getting married again.  This is a good thing and I am sure it is a permanent thing.  There are so many aspects of this relationship that are perfect for her.  But me?  Once the bridesmaid?  We aren't invited to the wedding.  I never expected to be asked to be a bridesmaid based on our current relationshiop.  But I am not sure what to think about not being invited to the wedding.  Maybe she thinks I am a curse?  Maybe, like so many weddings and occasions, they are on a budget and/or space constraint and I didn't make the cut.  I am ok with this and certainly will not hold it against her.  But I am disappointed.  And a little sad.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Are you sailing around the world? It looks that way.

I have been on many trips - trips alone, trips with my husband, trips with husband and friends together, trips with husband and our kids, trips with girl friends and trips with girlfriends and kids.  Some have been two+ week trips, some have been shorter. 

In all those trips, NEVER has planning been involved that required more than a few e-mails of "I'm bringing Captain Morgan's" or "I'm bringing a breakfast dish for Saturday" and "I'm bringing the fruit salad for the breakast on Saturday" or "I'll bring the paper plates and plastic cups" etc., etc. and then a follow up list of who is leaving when and what each person is bringing.  Sometimes it was as simple as one little e-mail: "I'll meet you at the airport at X time.  I think I am going to have to pay extra for the weight of my luggage."

My husband goes away every year to a remote island location in Canada with a group of guys.  Friends, let me tell you, you would think they were planning a trip to sail around the world.  Or maybe spending a year on a deserted island.  They get together a minimum of three times, and I am being conservative with that guess, to go over who is bringing what.  They organize a spreadsheet with the foods and meals assigned to each guy, with who is bringing what tool or camping item (they mainly sleep in cabins, but they do camp a couple of nights on various islands in the bay), how much each person spends so they can split the cost evenly.  They organize an itinerary since different people leave at different days/times depending on their various schedules.  I'm telling you, this is a process of such magnitude that I'm sure I cannot really convey the details that are involved in their planning.  Maybe I can sneak a copy of the spreadsheet and share it with y'all some time.

It's been a long time since I've seen the wives of these men, but in the past we have laughed and laughed about their organization of this trip.  We have been envious of the meals they cook.  And we have wondered why it is they need to do all this organizing when all it takes for us is a couple of e-mails and some packing to get our trips organized?  I think it has something to do with getting together and drinking beer on multiple occasions.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

All I wanted were some frozen peas, dammit!

Have you tried to buy frozen vegetables lately?  It's downright impossible to get just a plain frozen vegetable in a plain frozen vegetable bag.  In my family, one night each week, a family member gets to choose the dinner menu.  We rotate this so everyone gets a turn over the weeks.  This week, it was MG's turn and he wanted peas with our steaks, baked potatoes and salads. I just prefer my peas to not even be cooked, but raw and on a salad.  But it wasn't my night, so cooked peas it is and if I'm going to cook peas, they are going to be frozen not canned.  I think canned peas are gross.  And mushy.

I was at the store staring into the frozen veggie section.  Walking up and down the four or five doors looking for frozen peas.  Just a simple bag of frozen peas.  The kind you get for 99 cents or some el cheapo price because they are PLAIN.FROZEN.PEAS. in a PLAIN.FROZEN.PEA.BAG.  I am certain they no longer exist.  My choices were peas and onions, peas in a butter sauce, peas and carrots and onions.  As for plain peas in a bag, my only option was those "steamfresh" bags.  Don't get me wrong, that makes cooking really easy.  But A) I don't like paying the extra EXTRA cash for that special bag when I can just steam them myself without that bag and B) since I like my peas raw and in a salad I am now forced to pay for a damn "steamfresh" bag that I don't even want!  I finally found a bag of "steamfresh" peas on sale for a decent price and bought two bags. 

But really, all I want to know is where are the plain veggies in the plain bags?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Shorthand. Or is it shorttext?

Yesterday, while on Facebook, the following messaging conversation took place between me and Big E, my now 13 yr. old son.  The colored comments are things I've added today so you get a clear picture of just what was going on in my head.

Big E:
Hi wats for dinner

whatever you want to fix. i will be at baseball and soccer practice.  (I should use proper capitalization.)
Don't you know how to spell "what"?  (I decided to not focus on the lack of punctuation since I had already not used capitalization.)
Maybe I should enroll you in summer school for a spelling class.

Big E:

Y what? 

Big E:
Y wud u put me in summer school

because your spelling sucks.  (Yes, internet, I used the word "sucks" with my kid.  Judge me if you want.)

Big E:
No a lot of people talk like this in txts and fb  (He clearly has no idea how cool I am or he would realize I already know this.)

Maybe they should go to summer school, too.

Big E:
Y shud they

Because their spelling sucks, too.
or is that sux?  (See, I can use funny spelling, too!)

Big E:

wat?  (There I go again!)

Big E:
But like all people talk like this on fb
And idk means I don't know  (Duh!)

i know, i am just joking with you. LOL!  (Here I start to reveal my "shorttext" savvy with that well placed "LOL"...)
:)  (...and the smiley emoticon.  I am sure he was impressed.)

Big E:


Big E:
Can I get something to eat
Like BK


The best part of all of this is that he really thought I had no idea about the shorthand used in texting.  He was in our family room and I was in our office and I thought for sure he could here me cracking up and that he would know I was totally messing with him.  He didn't.  We met in the kitchen and I fessed up that I was just kidding about summer school and I knew about the texting language.  He thought that was funny, but then quickly straightened me out that "gtg" is really supposed to be "g2g".  So I missed one.  He loved that.  He then started bugging me about "What's for dinner?" and my response?  "I-D-K."  Yep, I said it.  "I-D-K."  I managed to have an entire conversation with him using shorttext language and it drove him and my middle son to pure laughter.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Political Machine

I have a lot of political opinions.  I don't typically go around sharing them with just anyone.  I do occasionally write about them here.  If you ask me about my opinion, I will give it to you. 

I don't run around shouting support for a specific person or people.  This last election, I did actually wear a shirt that was supportive of a presidential candidate. With it, I ran the risk of eye rolling and downright hateful glares from those in my ultra conservative community. If it happened, I didn't notice, so that was good.

We don't put stickers on our cars or signs in our yards.  We don't brainwash our children to support the candidates we support.  We even walk a fine line when they ask us who we are voting for and why.  We do tell them, but I temper my opinions some.  I try to present what each candidate stands for and explain why I agree/don't agree with each.  As with many things in my life, I sometimes find myself on the fence and it is usually only one or two things that sway me to one side.  MG and I do not vote straight party lines, we vote for who we think will do best under the circumstances.  Sometimes it's a Democrat, sometimes it's a Republican, sometimes it might be a Libertarian or an Independent.  We are sure to explain this to our kids.  But all in all, they generally don't see us being politically active or engaging in heated political discussions.  (I realize some might thing this is a good thing and others might think it's a bad thing.  That's ok, think what you want.)

So you can only imagine their surprise when I came home with this.
Not only did I come home with it, I put it in our yard!  For the public to see.  It was out there for, oh, about five minutes when one, or maybe all three, noticed.  The look of shock and confusion on their little faces was priceless.  Then the gasps and the questions.  "MOM!  Why is THAT.SIGN in our yard?"  "What does it mean 'Yes! Library'?" 

I got to explain how wonderful services like the library are not free and our government is no longer supporting them the way they used to and now they are counting on us.  I want them to know that we support the library.  I want the library to know we support them.  Heck, I go there at least once a week, I think the least I can do is pay a few more dollars in my property taxes to make sure they have the resources they need.  Granted, for some, it might be cheaper to just buy the books, but as much as I read, that is not the case.  And even if it were, I think EVERY community needs a good library.  Our library is a city library and we are not part of a larger system.  Though I could buy my own books, there are people in our community who can't.  And there are those who don't have home computers and internet that appreciate this service provided by the library.  And so on, and so on.  My kids now know, or at least were told even if they don't remember, why it's good to support the library!

They knew this was a hallmark day.  It was the day that I made a public show for something taking place in our elections.  Really, though.  Who can say no to the library?  I am surprised I am not seeing these signs in all of our yards.  Why aren't more people blasting our community with support for the library?  It seems like a no-brainer to me.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Today is Big E's 13th birthday.  On the kid's birthdays, I usually write a little bit about them.  What can I write about a 13 yr. old that you don't already know?  He's mouthy and stubborn.  He's funny and fun.  He's social and active.  He loves his long hair (though I am continuously caught off guard by people who ask, "Does his long hair bother you?  Does it bother your husband?"  It's usually asked in that tone that implies, "I would NEVER let my son grow long hair!"  I generally respond with, "Of course it doesn't bother us.  It's just hair."  I can't say I love his hair long, but it IS just hair.  Long hair is not a permanent condition, like say a tattoo or those weird earrings that leave holes in your ears the size of the black hole.  Long hair is really so low on our list of things to be concerned about in regards to raising a healthy, happy, kind, safe child that it amazes me people would NOT let their child grow their hair long and instead focus on the bigger issues.)  He reminds me of me.  His smart mouth and ability to argue for or against ANYTHING based on his mood is frustrating.  However, I try to remind myself how much more frustrating it was to be on the other side of that discussion when I was his age.  My parents didn't listen to my opinions, my wishes, my beliefs.  They just went on without much input from me.  And I fought them every step of the way.  So I try to remember that and let him have his say.  I even try to take it into consideration at times when making decisions.  Other times, I send him to his room because I am so EXHAUSTED from the arguing, discussing and debating. 

I thought I might feel old having a teenager.  But honestly, it is making me feel young.  When I look at "friends" on Facebook that I grew up with that have grandchildren.  At our age.  THAT would make me feel old.  But here I am, just 42 years old, with a teenager.  I think that sounds young!

Happy B-Day, Big E.