Friday, April 9, 2010

It's a traveler's paradise.

In the south, there is a restaurant that we always go to when on the road. It's Shoney's. If you have never been to a Shoney's, you don't know what you are missing. It's mediocre, low quality food for a low price. I don't know why we keep going back, but we do. And for some odd reason, we love it. I guess it's tradition and it just wouldn't be a road trip to the south without a trip to Shoney's.

Our recent trip to Shoney's was better than most. We got a lot of chuckles and I even was profiled as a "northerner." I'm still considering filing a discrimination lawsuit.

When ordering our food, I wanted to know about two different fried shrimp dinners. The descriptions seemed very similar and I was unclear about what made them different enough to justify that one came with the "all-you-can-eat soup, salad and fruit bar" (a must for Shoney's diners!) for a cheaper price than the other without the salad bar. Our waitress said the one with the salad bar came with JUMBO shrimp. So I asked how many. Her answer, "I don't know." Not "I'll find out," or "Gosh, I'm new here and no one has asked that before," or "I can't count that high." Just "I don't know." At least she said it with a smile. So I ordered the JUMBO shrimp with the soup, salad and fruit bar. Sous Chef ordered the spaghetti. I made the mistake of asking "Is the sauce with meat or without?" The response, "I don't know." So I just followed up with, "Well, if there is a choice, make it the meat sauce." And of course, my order for UNsweet tea went unnoticed and I ended up with sweet tea. The sweet vs. UNsweet tea is a whole other story and will follow in another post.

When she delivered our food, she held each plate, said what it was, and waited for that person, or in this case, the parents, to take the plate and deliver it to the child or to ourselves. I could not even look at my husband because I knew I would burst out laughing.

Twice, one of us had to go to the waitress station to get a refill because she seemed to just disappear and we had empty glasses and no creamer for way too long.

When checking out, the manager asked how the service was. I told him fine, but a little slow. He apologized and I said, "No big deal, but you asked, so I told you." That's when the slander occurred. "Are you from Michigan?" "No, Ohio." He smirked. He SMIRKED. So I said, "Do you think I'm acting like a northerner?" I said it with a smile, of course. "No," he said, "you haven't cussed me out yet." All I can say to that is "That fucking asshole is damn lucky I didn't smack that shit eating grin right off his fucking face." There, now I cussed him out.

All in all, though, we can't wait to go to another Shoney's. We love that southern hospitality.


  1. While Shoney's was an old standby for this southern girl, my heart and arteries pine for Waffle House. The ladies behind the counter resplendent in their starched aprons and nurses caps balancing coffee cups and glass jars of syrup gave such sass to the truckers and tourists that it was difficult to suppress a giggle. I am right there with you. "Kiss my grits!"

  2. The whole time I was reading your last post and this one I was thinking about how absolutely petrified I was as a child of that horrible Shoney's Big Boy Character who stood outside the door of the restaurant. Do they still do that? ugh. So I realize I may have missed a few of your points. But he's just so present in my mind, even after all these years!

  3. Okay, I have your posts mixed up...blame google reader...but I think you get my point. I have never had sweet or unsweet tea anyway, so I don't have much to offer on that score. It is funny that they just ignored your order so often. Funny now.