Thursday, April 1, 2010

I have a friend...

In case you aren't aware, I am a married female and mother of three boys.  I like boys.  Over the years, it seems I find boys less irritating.  It's probably because I grew up with older brothers, mostly boy cousins until I was older and mostly boys in my neighborhood.  That and I am not a particularly girly girl.  I look like a girl, I dress like a girl and I love clothes, hair, makeup stuff.  But I don't always act like a girl.  I'm not very sensitive or easily offended and I don't cry easily.  I'm not worried about  "appearances" or "keeping up" with the other women around me.  I don't worry about what the general public thinks of me (though I do want those I care about to think nice things about me!).  I am outspoken and not afraid to stand up for myself.  I'm not like a lot of other girls I know.  (I do however, seem to pick girl friends who are similar to me!)

I have several very good women friends, a wonderful BFF, none of whom I could live without!  I do, however, have one particular friend who is a boy.  I met him when I was in college, I think maybe my junior or senior year.  After I graduated, we became roommates for a few years.  I then met my hubby, moved out to live all alone for a while (which I LOVED).  Eventually, I got married and have lived among men and boys ever since.  It's perfect for me.

Back to the friend who is a boy, who is probably shitting himself right now because he has realized this post is sort of about him.  Do you have a friend of the opposite gender?  It can be a unique relationship.  I adore my "boy" friend.  He is like the brother I should have had.  I do have two brothers and I think they're pretty cool in their own ways, but we are all three different in so many ways we seem to lack a connection.

There were a variety of people I knew who thought we should NOT be roommates.  Well, it was mainly my mom, because opposite genders who are not family should not "live" together, even in platonic relationships where you each have your own room.  You would have thought having the guy roommate during college would have prepared her, though in college we did have a third female roommate, so maybe that buffered the blow a little bit the first time.  Others who did not know us would give me the "raised" eyebrow when they found out I had a guy roommate.  This usually happened at my place of employment where I had my first real post college job.  They eventually got "used" to it and stopped making comments.  When I met my husband and we were dating, the neanderthals he worked with couldn't believe MG would "let" me "live with a guy."  My husband's comment was always something like "They're just friends.  And he was there long before I was." 

George (name changed to protect his privacy) and I are still friends after 20 or so years.  He is single, though that could be/is changing.  We get together about once a month for lunch or dinner.  We go to concerts together.  I still get funny looks from people when I mention these things and people realize my husband doesn't go with us.  MG knows he is always invited to join us at any time he wants.  But he also knows how much I enjoy being with George and he opts out, just like he opts out of a girls only lunch date or concert outing (though honestly, I don't think he really IS invited to girls only events.  That would just be wrong.).

What about you?  Do you have a friendship with someone of the opposite gender?


  1. I can't think of any, even a while ago. I think it is neat that you do. What does his sig other think?
    I have seen a couple weddings where the bride has a "bridesman". Thought that was pretty cool.

  2. Does my ex husband count? Catching up on my blog reading, finally. Happy Saturday and Happy Easter!!!!

  3. I don't. The only guy friends I have are husbands of my close girl friends. I don't see anything wrong with it though.

  4. funny - I just wrote about this topic...

    Love to you

  5. Question: how did you come up with the "respecting his privacy" name of George? Did you come up with it? Or did "George" come up with it? Since I know "George" I would not have pegged him as a "George". Of course, I haven't seen him in 15+ years so I have no idea what he looks like now....but going from memory, albeit fuzzy from the MANY nights of drinking back then, I would tagged him with Andrew, Mitchell or Randall.

    If you came up with "George" I think you should extend an offer to "George" to rename himself. Does he have an alter ego? Maybe he's always wanted to be a Lorenzo, a Rupert or a Dmitri......

  6. Love this. I happen to have a couple of guy friends, not as close as we once were, but I do love having a male point of view, besides the husband and two sons of course.

  7. I have a couple male friends, but we're not close like my girlfriends. I think it's great that you have that though. It must also be nice to have a male perspective from someone other than your hubby.