Friday, February 12, 2010
On Feb. 5, my husband and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. We had an informative 1st date in which my husband made it clear to me he was purposefully avoiding marriage and I could exit stage left if I expected anything remotely "marriage" like. I thought we were the perfect match when he said that. Based on 16 years of marriage, I was right, I suppose. Just not in the way I, or should I say we, expected.
So do I regret the decisions I've made? NO. Do I think I would have been happy if my expectations had panned out? Yes. I love my family and I love my life. I am very social and love the commotion of keeping our family unit bumpily running along, but on the flip side, I am also quite a loner and would have been just as happy with a more solitary life.
I look at it this way though. If I were living that expected life, I would be writing a blog entry wondering "what if I had gotten married, had kids, given up my career to raise a family? What if my days were filled with the rewards of hugs, kisses and giggles instead of money? If my days were full of kids fighting and crying and wrestling? What if my afternoons were spent counting down the minutes 'til my husband comes home because I can't wait to see him AND if he doesn't get home soon to rescue me from the fighting and crying and wrestling I am going to pull out my own hair?" The solitary me would always wonder about the "other" life I didn't choose.
Life is so full of what if's. And it's kind of fun to wonder what could have been, while being very happy with what is.