Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Transitions

I have recently acknowledged to myself that I don't like transitions.  Or at least that's what I thought.  Then I realized, it's not the transition I mind, it's the anticipation of the transition.  It's the "schedule", the knowing something is about to change.  I don't mean big stuff, necessarily.  I mean every day stuff.  I mean things like going to work, waiting for a client to show, having an appointment of any kind, volunteering at school.  Once I get wherever I am going and things get underway, I am fine. 

I don't like being on a schedule.  I like things to be more spontaneous.  I do much better on the days where I wake up and call in to work to because I have a few extra hours and want to come in.  There's not much scheduling with that one - I decide to go and then I go.  I hate having to be somewhere at a specific time.  I hate thinking about where I have to be and when.  Reminding myself all day that "I need to go to work at noon," or "I need to leave for that appointment at 2:00."  I hate having to "plan", ie: schedule, everything else around the schedule so I can get to the appointment or event at the right time.  Of course, I do better when it's something fun, but even then, I prefer to just get a phone call with someone saying, "Hey, can you meet me for lunch/dinner/movie/at the mall...in an hour?"

Obviously, I realize I can't live my life without a schedule.  I can't just show up places and expect to get in to wherever I go, to be seen by the doctor/hairstylist/car repair service just because I showed up and I am available at that moment in time.  Unfortunately, the movie theater won't start a movie just because I am there when I feel like being there.  Believe me, all I have to do is look at my calendar each week to know that there has to be a schedule.

The truth is though, I don't think I will ever adjust to that calendar glaring at me with all that stuff on it. Places to go, people to see, things to do.  Somedays, I just want to crawl back in bed.  It makes me appreciate those rare days when my schedule has NOTHING on it!

5 comments:

  1. I have to live with a schedule or deal with Son's meltdowns. Not pretty. If anything needs to be changed I'd better find a way to tell him so he has plenty of time to adjust to the change. I find schedules comforting and peaceful. :)

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  2. bahahahaha. This is me. This is too close for comfort!!! I thought I was so alone...............

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  3. i hate schedules. if left to my own devices, i'd never follow one. logically, i know i need the structure of one in order to accomplish anything. still, hate them. sigh.

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  4. I am so the opposite. I love to plan and schedule. Although I like to have plenty of time in between appointments and events and I definitely don't mind a little bit of down time too.

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  5. I wish I was more like you. I have to have a schedule. I love lists and plans! If I didn't have them, I think I would be lost. Subscribed to yor feed. Found you via the Follow Me Club at MBC. Please visit me at http://nobirthcontrol.blogspot.com. Thanks!

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