I have recently acknowledged to myself that I don't like transitions. Or at least that's what I thought. Then I realized, it's not the transition I mind, it's the anticipation of the transition. It's the "schedule", the knowing something is about to change. I don't mean big stuff, necessarily. I mean every day stuff. I mean things like going to work, waiting for a client to show, having an appointment of any kind, volunteering at school. Once I get wherever I am going and things get underway, I am fine.
I don't like being on a schedule. I like things to be more spontaneous. I do much better on the days where I wake up and call in to work to because I have a few extra hours and want to come in. There's not much scheduling with that one - I decide to go and then I go. I hate having to be somewhere at a specific time. I hate thinking about where I have to be and when. Reminding myself all day that "I need to go to work at noon," or "I need to leave for that appointment at 2:00." I hate having to "plan", ie: schedule, everything else around the schedule so I can get to the appointment or event at the right time. Of course, I do better when it's something fun, but even then, I prefer to just get a phone call with someone saying, "Hey, can you meet me for lunch/dinner/movie/at the mall...in an hour?"
Obviously, I realize I can't live my life without a schedule. I can't just show up places and expect to get in to wherever I go, to be seen by the doctor/hairstylist/car repair service just because I showed up and I am available at that moment in time. Unfortunately, the movie theater won't start a movie just because I am there when I feel like being there. Believe me, all I have to do is look at my calendar each week to know that there has to be a schedule.
The truth is though, I don't think I will ever adjust to that calendar glaring at me with all that stuff on it. Places to go, people to see, things to do. Somedays, I just want to crawl back in bed. It makes me appreciate those rare days when my schedule has NOTHING on it!