Monday, January 25, 2010

I have crossed over.

I have done my best to keep this blog to myself. By that, I mean sharing it mainly with strangers. I set out wanting it to be totally free and clear of all family (except my husband). In the beginning, I shared it only with out of town friends because it was my way of keeping them updated with what was going on at Chez Jo. Over time, my blog changed and it became way more personal. There still are very few friends who know about my blog. My husband still reads and my sister-in-law checks in occasionally. I have not personally shared it with any family members (except my SIL). After the Great Blogsite Debacle of '08, I tried to go more underground by shaking things up here, getting a new web address and going to nicknames. (What? You really thought I named my kids Big E, Sous Chef and CJ? I will tell you this. My cat really is named Ace.) I can't guarantee I was 100% successful, but so be it. I guess if family members need to secretly read about my life, then, well, that's life.

When I finally convinced myself I should join Facebook for a variety of reasons, I again decided it would be friends only. When I discovered my SIL was on, she got friended. Oh and my brother's wife, too. Other than that, I prefer to keep my family out of my "friends" life. My family, mainly my extended family, can be very judgmental and not the most enlightened group. I am very different from them. Many of them are right-wing Christians, some are bigots/racists and they're all homophobic. I am none of these things. Christian? Yes, but my view of Christianity and interpretation of the Bible is very different from theirs. I actually had a cousin ask my mom to boycott X&Y, the consumer products company my husband works for, because they provide benefits to same gender couples and to unmarried couples living together as a family. Hello? My mom pretty much told her off. Then my cousin followed up with an e-mail to me about how the boycott was a success and why. I sent the e-mail off to X&Y PR dept. and they nicely summarized to me how they had not done most of what this organization was claiming. I was quick to not only let my cousin know she needed to do some research about the info. she receives from the fools who are telling her what to believe (she has what I call the "Blank Slate Syndrome") but to also let her know what I thought about her and her beliefs. After I sent my scathing e-mail, my husband said he hoped I was prepared to have her never speak to me again. And she didn't for a few years, which was easy because we lived in KS and they didn't. She talks to me now and she even comes to my home, but she knows what NOT to discuss in this house. And to think, on many occasions, she, her husband and her dad had all asked my husband how her husband could get a job there. HA! They will get quite the earful from me and/or my husband should that ever happen again. Funny though, after my e-mail, getting her husband a job at X&Y was never mentioned again.

Ok, well, that turned into a rant I was NOT expecting. What I was really getting at is I have crossed over into allowing some of these people into my Facebook "friends" arena. I have also set some guilelines for myself. I like Facebook to be fun and funny, a stress free zone. I don't mind the occasional political or other hot topic comment, as long as it's done with respect. I do have a friend who I have very different political views from and he often posts things. However, he is always fair and respectful to others and willing to listen to other views without getting mean or attacking. My family? Not so much. So, what I have decided is that I will continue to remain friends with these family members until if/when they start posting inflammatory comments of any kind. I will then unfriend them and politely, or not, let them know why. Depending on how it all goes, there could be a very low attendance at my house next Thanksgiving.

8 comments:

  1. Love it!! I so hear you on this. I'm big on keeping Facebook just for friends. My brother, on the other hand, is too stinkin' nice and friends everyone. I'm under double-secret private lock down, so so far so good, but one too many of those crazy family members start pinging me and I'm closing shop.

    My Dad is an ex-green beret who worked for Exxon for over 30 years - you can only imagine the family get-to-togethers when most of the family is left leaning :-)

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  2. Ha. Before I read this I was pondering the fact that I can't really write what I WANT because I know there are those people I don't want reading it. Why do they read it anyway? Why can't I just be comfortable enough with myself to let 'er rip? hmm. Even on my covert blog I've found myself apologizing all over the place.

    FB kills me with all the political and judgmental and downright foolish things choose to say. Well, I just revealed how judgmental I am! Mostly I hate how sappy people get. But if I get invited to one more "activist" group...gah. Why does someone just assume I share their belief?

    Whoa...I am out of control today. Maybe I should create a fan page for that.(But honestly...19 friend requests? lucky.) :-0

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  3. i admire your willingness/ability to face these people head-on and put them in their place. unfortunately my blank-slaters are one step closer in the gene pool, and include my own mom and dad.

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  4. I had my ex MIL and ex SIL following my blog regularly without me knowing about it. I found out they were updating my ex and the rest of his family on what was new with my life. When I found out I deleted my blog and started a new one. The only family member who knows about my blog now is my Mom, and she is quite computer illiterate so I know she doesn't look at it much, lol.

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  5. I'm nosy and I like to keep up with family on FB but I rarely post updates. I feel like I can be myself more on my blog and twitter.

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  6. I am very picky about who I friend on fb and who I tell about my blog. Its easier to Rant without having to worry about who I might offend

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  7. I have a brain block where facebook is concerned so I refuse to understand it. On another topic, my husband's ex-wife and ex-daughter read my blog daily just to see if their wiccan spells have successfully put us into ICU yet. So I HATE having to tread carefully ON MY OWN DAMN BLOG. I feel ya!

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  8. I admire you for standing up to your cousin. Well done. And I think that's a good call about adding family to FB and waiting to see if they post anything that is questionable in your eyes. Is this where innocent until proven guilty (on FB) comes into play?

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