Thursday, October 29, 2009

The worst laundry story ever...

It is a good thing I have friends who send me stories about themselves like the story below, because people, I am losing it. Seriously. I'm moody, I'm yelling and screaming constantly, my kids are driving me crazy and I just want everyone to leave me alone. Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't talk to me. Well, except for this morning when I was asleep on the couch and I was stirred almost awake by a kiss on the cheek from CJ after he woke up at the other end of the couch. THAT was good. Oh, and Ace. He can hang with me whenever. He wants nothing but food three times a day. I can handle that. All he does is follow me around and lays down close to wherever I am and purrs. So unless you are a six year old who can't get enough of me or you are a little orange cat, I suggest you keep a clear distance of me until I recover from this. Here's hoping I DO recover from this.

So, anyway, the highlight of my day was the e-mail below. Yes, it actually happened. Yes, it actually happened to a friend of mine, who happens to be a brilliant physician.  (I mean that with all sincerity.  She is a great resource to those of us who get to hang with her.  Now if we could just get her to whip out that prescription pad.  Unfortunately, she has those pesky medical board laws she's required to follow in order to keep practicing medicine.) I kid you not, I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh while reading this. I thought for sure she would hear me. She just lives up the road, so it would have been possible, because I WAS.CRACKING.UP. Tears and giggles and gasping for air kind of cracking up.

Here it is. THE.WORST.LAUNDRY.STORY.EVER. by Jo's friend, Dr. B.

This is not a story I can share with everyone but you seem as though you could take panty disasters in stride...always check pockets!

So I get up this morning, take a shower, get dressed, and set off on my day. All was well until I swung out of my car at school, at which point I felt a strange and painful pinching sensation in the front of my pants. What the heck? I tried a few discreet tugs to no avail. Finally I dropped off my daughter, got back in the car, and unzipped my jeans. My underwear appeard to be stuck to me. I tried a tug, which was extremely painful, and looked again. What appeared to be a Starburst candy was melted, smoothly and evenly, to the front of my underwear, and as I drove around it had glued itself to me with an apparently permanent bond. In the end I had to go home, take a big breath, and rip them off, resulting in a bizarre inverse bikini wax that left me bare (and bleeding) right up the middle. (I threw the undies out.) Really, can you believe this? I wouldn't if it hadn't happened to me!

I assured Dr. B. that once the hairs grow back and the scabs are gone, she too, will think this is hilarious!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Desperately seeking....

I always get a kick out of seeing the subjects that show up in the search portion of Google Analytics. You know, those words and phrases in a search that bring someone to a blog. Sometimes, they make total sense and others, well, not so much. Here are some that make me wonder who the hell is out there in the blogosphere:

Dew Mouth - A fellow blogger and friend used this phrase in my comment section one time and it has brought several visits to my blog.

Foot behind his neck - I posted a photo of Sous Chef putting his foot behind his neck. Something tells me the person doing this search was looking for something a little different than a child and his foot. At least I hope they were.

Acid giggles - Not everyone gets the giggles when doing acid.

He had a pancake in the place of his ass - At one point, I quoted this line from Chelsea Handler's book My Horizontal Life. I can't imagine what anyone else wanted with this phrase.

"Human Pet" mistress slave stories - I have NEVER written about mistress slave stories of any kind, so I am unsure, and even a little nervous, about this one.

Doctor shits giggles - Oh my. I think he should SEE a doctor, that just doesn't sound normal.

Nude photos my sister - I don't even have a sister, let alone nude photos of her. And if I did, I don't think I would post them here. Unless she really pissed me off.

Women massaging mens asses - I don't do that type of massage, thank you very much. I also didn't blog about it.

There you have it.  There are a lot more I could have chosen - lots of searches using the word MILF, massage, and more.  I will get to them another day.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The body is an amazing structure.

I have recently been treating a friend who is having some major arm, neck and shoulder issues.  I have been a little flummoxed about what might be the cause of all this and have resorted to getting out my anatomy and physiology book.  I was going through some of it the other night and looked at my husband and said, "I can't believe I read and was tested on this entire book in a year's time."  Not to mention, I did great on all of those tests! 

I also recently got an update about a friend's mom who is having some health challenges.  I was reminded that some things involving the body can't totally be explained, definitely won't be in the standard textbook and makes you just go "Wow.  How does the body do that?"

The mom had a heart attack in the recent past.  She also had surgery to correct some of her heart issues.  This past summer, the mom started feeling bad but didn't tell anyone and didn't go to the doctor because she spent the summer in another state and didn't want to deal with new doctors.  So she waited until she got back home.  She finally called her daughter, my friend, and said she needed to see the doctor because she felt like she did before her heart attack.

After the doctor appointment and some tests, the doctor told her her heart has 100% blockage.  You read that correctly.  100%.  Do you know what kept this woman from having a heart attack and probably dying right then and there?  Her body had created it's own bypass to get blood to the heart.  You read that correctly.  CREATED.ITS.OWN.BYPASS.  And though it wasn't functioning fully, hence the symptoms, it kept her alive long enough to get to the doctor.  She is scheduled to have bypass surgery; the medical kind of bypass.

This whole thing is just amazing to me.  It is amazing that a body has the ability to go into survival mode.  That the body has the ability to save itself.  It's amazing this woman is still walking and breathing and enjoying her grandkids all because her body was able to create a lifeline for her until she got herself to the doctor. 

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I'm in recovery mode.

Last night I attended a concert with my friend and former roommate, Stephen (hi Stephen!). There were three bands, the first one coming out of nowhere and, I am pretty confident in saying, going nowhere. The name of the band was Violent SOHO.  I think that says it all, really.  I have never liked heavy metal. I still don't. It was painful to hear, though somewhat entertaining to watch. The song that stuck in our heads the most had the lyrics "Fuck you! Fuck you! I hate your face." As Stephen said, "that's the most awesome break up song I've ever heard." Like me, he's good at sarcasm. Honestly, when they were finished, my chest hurt. Thank goodness for beer. Today, I'm in recovery mode from that music, not the beer.

As I came bounding down the steps last night into the family room where MG was playing Monopoly with Sous Chef and CJ, I asked "Do I look rock and roll enough?"  (Nothing over the top, people.  Just skinny jeans, boots that are a combo of horse riding boots and motorcylce riding boots - flat, no high heel of any kind, a shirt and a necklace.)  MG said I looked hot.  CJ, in his always supportive way, said, "I like those boots.  I like the belt buckles on those boots.  Your hair looks pretty."  As I was rushing out the door, CJ then shouted, "Don't forget, I like those boots!"  I love that kid.  And my husband, too, for telling me I looked hot when really I felt like a 42 yr. old who maybe was trying to look 20.

My favorite outfit of the night was a vintage dress, tube socks and Doc Martin-ish shoes.  Beauty!  I'm pretty sure Stephen would refuse to be seen with me if I tried to go to a concert with him dressed like that.  Actually, it was just the tube socks that ruined the outfit.  The rest was fine.

The official opening band was the Black Angels.  If you are interested in music/band information, you can find that HERE.  They have a woman drummer, which I think is way cool.  My fantasy career is to be in a super cool band.  And here's a video.

The headliner was the Raveonettes.  For more information, go HERE.  Again, a band that has a woman, this time as lead vocals.  Love it.  Their drummer only had two drums and that cymbal drum thingie that makes the "tinging" sound when you hit it with the drumstick.  Yes, I know there is an official name for that piece of equipment, but I don't know it.  I picked two of my favorite songs from them to share on video.  Enjoy!

So there is your music lesson for the day.  I hope you enjoy!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Here I am.

Pssssst. Yoo-hoo! Yooooo-hooooo! Hey, over here. I'm at MWOB today. Check it out.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Babysitting vs. Parenting

Last week in my bookclub, we started talking about husbands and parenting.  A couple of us admitted we were really put off when someone said "My husband is babysitting our kids tonight."  In my opinion, husbands don't babysit their own children.  It's called being a parent; taking care of your own kids, with your spouse or in his/her absence.  When did it happen that dads got out of "parenting" and got the job of "babysitting"?  And when did moms and wives start accepting this as ok?

I talked before about how many people asked me "Who is going to take care of your kids?" when they found out I was going on an 11 day vacation to Hawaii with my BFF.  My typical answer was, "I have a husband who happens to be the parent of our three boys.  Who do you think is going to take care of our kids?"  My husband found himself being a little offended by this question, too.  He took it as an implied message that he was unwilling and incapable of being the primary caretaker in my absence.  He's a parent.  Not a babysitter.

I wonder, in those families where dad (or mom, in the case of a "role reversal") has no solo parenting experience, what would happen in an emergency where mom is no longer in the picture, either temporarily or permanently?  How difficult it would be for the dad and kids when dad has no experience doing the solo parenting thing and is now being forced into it under a stressful situation.  While nothing can prepare a parent for the unexpected and it would be difficult no matter what, I do take comfort in knowing my husband has some good solid experience over the years of being the primary caretaker for extended periods of time without me as backup.  He's a parent.  Not a babysitter.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New Music

I know not everyone likes to hear music on blogs.  BUT, I am going to a concert this weekend and decided to load some tunes for the week.  The Raveonettes are not as mellow as what I usually put on here, but you'll have to make do; or turn on your mute button. 


Oh, and just to add a little warmth to your day, here's a photo from my trip to Hawaii.

Ka'anapali Beach, Maui (island of Lanai in background of picture)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Library time!

Today I volunteer at the library at CJ's school, which is a building for Pre-School through 1st grade. I've only done this once before and it's a fairly easy job. Except for one thing. I don't always like children. It's true. I LOVE my kids and I usually like them, too (though there are days where even that is questionable, depending on their behavior). However, other people's kids? Not so much. I think they're cute, I like it when they say funny things, but I don't necessarily want to be INVOLVED with them. So I thought volunteering at the library would be my best bet at volunteering without having to be too hands on with them - no crafts, no helping with class work, no feeding a snack, no playing games. How much interaction can there be with checking in books, shelving books and then checking out books for them as they smile at me and say something cute and then go on their way? WRONG. The librarian expects me to help them find books, to read to them, to walk around and make sure they aren't destroying the place. WHAT? I didn't sign up for that. I just wanted to provide a service, watch the kids from a distance with a smile on my face as they say and do funny things and then go home.

Last time I was there, a little girl kept bugging me to help her find a book about beaches. Cute little girl, this one was. At least the first two times she asked me to help her I thought she was cute. As I helped her, a line of ducklings kids is forming behind me and following me everywhere I go with her. I wanted to quack and waddle, but I didn't think the kiddos would get it. And they are not patient little kids. I show her again where the books about beaches could possibly be. Then I'm off to help the others. Within moments she's back, telling me there was no book, but "I know we have one because I have checked it out before!" Of course, she doesn't remember the name. After about five times, I finally tell her, "I can't help you anymore. I need to help these other cute kids. I showed you where the book would be and if it's not there we don't have it." She says, "But I know we have it..." About that time, I catch the librarian, tell her what Beach Girl is looking for and the librarian shows her the same locations as I did. Poor girl.

You would think that put an end to her needing me. Nope. Next thing I know, I feel a tug on my sleeve.  It looked something like this:

"Can you help me find a book about princesses?" Off I go to show her the fairy tale section, wishing at that point I was in a fairy tale of my own. I show her the shelf and she says, "Oh, I wanted a Disney princess book." Thankfully, the librarian was right there and said, "We don't have any Disney princesses." I finally found a more traditional story of Cinderella for her and she seemed fairly happy. I, on the other hand, was exhausted. And that day, only the kindergarteners visited the library. Today it will be kindergarten and first grade. TOGETHER.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Family and Gripes

First, I'll start with the good family stuff. Yesterday, we went with my parents on a train ride through the country which took us to and from a pumpkin farm. It was cold on the train, but fun was had by all.

CJ in the open air car on the train.

CJ, Sous Chef and Big E

Big E, CJ, MG, my dad, Sous Chef, my mom

CJ after having a "burr" fight with his brothers. As you can see, I do believe he lost the fight, but had a great time nonetheless.

Big E, MG, Jo, CJ and Sous Chef.

And what I would like to point out in this photo is this:

That would be my grey hair shining through that beautiful reddish color hair. Based on this photo, I really think I need to join Deb in her RootWatch '09 project. I wonder if she is still taking on this project, though, as she hasn't posted about it lately.

You might think that my GRIPES part of the title would be those roots. But it's not. I can take care of that in a quick 20 minute process, which I will be doing whenever I get around to it. Based on the photo, that should probably be pretty soon.

However, the gripe is about my extended family, of course. My mom's birthday is this week and my family and my brother and his family are taking my parents out to lunch/dinner. (Should that be called linner? If breakfast/lunch can be brunch, maybe this meal SHOULD be called linner.) Whenever we plan anything on a Sunday, my SIL asks to have it early to mid afternoon, but after church is out, so they can get home and get settled for the school week. So I call her this morning and tell her 3:00. Her response? "Why so early?" WHAT? Really, if you had a specific time you wanted to meet, why the hell didn't you just tell me "X time would be good for us" or just plan the damn thing yourself. But don't get snarky with what I have planned unless I have blatantly done something you did not request!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Friday Fragments

I have been so uninspired lately that I am thankful to have Friday Fragments to get me off my blogging butt and post something! Friday Fragments is hosted by Mrs. 4444 at Half Past Kissin' Time.
  • I watched "Saving Sarah Marshall" and got a couple of chuckles. I went to see "Whip It" with Ellen Paige, Drew Barrymore and Juliette Lewis (That sounds like I went to the movie WITH them. I didn't - they were the stars of the show. I went with friends.) and got a lot of chuckles. I am watching Modern Family on TV and have laughed my ass off a couple of times. Other than that, I seem to have a case of the blahs.
  • I just finished reading EAST OF EDEN for the second time. I think I liked it even better this time around. I am guessing I will read it again in the future. I love that book.
  • We had our first parent teacher conference with Sous Chef's teacher. They are pretty cool and he got a shining report. Obviously, this is not my child that moons the kids on the bus.
  • I am experiencing a really low tolerance (even lower than normal!) for whiny, wimpy, cryie (not a word, I know) people. We were watching The Biggest Loser the other night and everyone was crying because they didn't get the training coach they wanted or the people on their team they wanted. I just kept screaming "What a bunch of whiny wusses!" at the television. I had other select words for these whiny ass cry babies, but I was watching with my kids.
  • We have neighbors with their Christmas lights up. I want to toilet paper their house.
  • A friend that I have known since third grade contacted me through Facebook. We lost touch after high school. She is one person I have always wished I kept in touch with but couldn't ever find her. I was so happy to hear from her and to be able to talk to her again!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's decided.

After much hand wringing, talking, reading, thinking, ignoring, stressing and anxiety (pretty much all on my part, my husband tends to think very logically and scientifically which allows him to not experience all the shit I do!), we have decided to get the H1N1 flu shots for our kids. I know for some, this is a no-brainer. But I am not one who gives vaccines just because I am told to. CJ still is missing a vaccine and we had to have the doctor write a letter so he could enter kindergarten. I have one child who ended up in the hospital for three days after the MMR with some serious health issues. We don't do seasonal flu shots (with the exception of once when CJ was very young and he had chronic breathing issues from newborn until about aged 2. He was on breathing treatments that entire time and we did decide to give him a flu shot that one year. We haven't since then.).

We have been lucky and to the best of my knowledge, have been flu free. I had the flu in 1997. I don't think anyone else in our house has had it since. If they did, it was so mild it just seemed like any other unknown virus. I am not ignorant enough to believe we will never get the flu. I know we, or at least one of us, will get it at some point in time. That has not been a reason for us to vaccinate. I do believe that we have some natural immunities to the seasonal flu since we are constantly exposed to it in school, work and in the general public.

That last sentence is why we have decided to vaccinate for H1N1. My kids have no exposure to this virus and have not had a chance to build up their own immune systems. They all three have a history of respiratory issues and that seems to be the bodily system that is attacked the most with this flu if it goes into complications.

I am seriously at peace with this decision. I was so relieved once we made the decision. The kids will be getting their shots in the schools - they are setting up clinics in the gyms and cafeterias and vaccinating those whose parents have submitted a signed consent form. I am unsure if MG and I will be getting the shots. I think we are old enough that we fall into that group that has some exposure from the 70's. However, I will be looking into a little more closely.

What do you plan to do? How did you make your decision, whatever that decision is? (I am not looking to have a heated debate here. Please do not attack me or anyone else for the decisions, whatever they are, we make!)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Life of Ace

The life of a cat is rough. If you look closely, you can see Ace high up in this tree. Stuck. Meowing. Trying to find a way down.

Here is Ace being rescued by my "allergic to cats" husband. Hey, it was that or listen to CJ when he is saying "We need to call a fire man!"

Friday, October 9, 2009

Friday Fragments

I'm a little late getting my fragments in today! Visit Mrs. 4444 for more timely fragments.

  • I got my stitches out today. Damn, that was worse than getting them in. I thought about asking for some anesthesia, but I knew they would think I was a wuss. The nurse asked if I was still taking vicodin and I wanted to say, "Uh, no, she only gave me eight pills. Can you get me some more?" I only took two of them - the rest are for any parties, oops, I mean, emergencies, that might pop up.
  • Is it wrong to be happy that my kids sporting events are canceled and we don't have to leave the house this evening! I think I will be putting on my PJ's before dinner.
  • I do believe I sleep as much, or maybe more than, our cat. It's nice having him around, I don't feel so lazy when there is someone else besides me sleeping in the middle of the day.
  • I'm tired of all my recipes. I really need some new menu items in my repertoire of dinner foods. Any suggestions - nothing too difficult or time consuming, though I do like to cook and am not easily intimidated by most recipes.
  • Thankfully, we have not received any more phone calls regarding CJ mooning people en route to school. I asked him why he did it the first time and he said it was because "the kids thought it was funny." Great, I have a naked comedian on my hands.
  • Is it me, or is everyone having trouble in Blogger Draft? Much of the time, when I go to write or edit a post, none of my menu choices show up for fonts, picture insertions, links, etc. I am also having issues with Facebook. It makes me login and/or enter my password EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I never used to have to do that!
  • I'm glad it's Friday.

Inspiration? NOT.

Since I am currently lacking any inspiration or creativity (I was out 'til 1:00 AM last night and my brain is fried), I am going to do a list. The first list is not my idea - remember, I am lacking creativity. Pearl at Pearl, Why You Little... frequently posts what is on her IPod while she rides the bus to work. I always like seeing what she is listening to and she has such a wide variety of music she likes. I decided to steal that idea from her (thanks, Pearl!). I will also put an * next to the bands I have seen in concert. If you see that * you know the band is probably a rather old band, because I no longer attend two concerts a week like I used to. I will also put a link to the song so if you would like to go listen to it, you can. I will post the first ten songs that appear on my shuffle.

* Mazzy Star - Cry, Cry
* Willie Nelson w/Emmylou Harris - I've Loved You All Over the World (I have seen Emmylou Harris in concert. And I swear, I think my parents dragged me to a Willie Nelson show as a kid, but I will need to verify that.)
* Neil Young - Ohio (I worked with a woman whose sister was at the sit in at Kent State where the students were shot. Ellen remembers being glued to the TV with her family, hoping to get a call from her sister that she was ok. They did get that call.)
* New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle
* REM - We Walk
The Doors - Light My Fire
Dashboard Confessional - Heaven Here
* Howling Bells - It Ain't You (this is actually a current band that I saw this past summer)
* The Cure - The Perfect Girl
The Kooks - I Want You

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Pop Culture Extravaganza

There are a couple of things going on in pop culture that I just have to talk about.  I don't get magazines or watch the "magazine" tv shows, but I do live and breathe the Today Show and I try to occasionally catch the news.  I also have all of you keeping me up to speed.  I will sometimes hear or read something and will then Google it to get more information.  Here are two things that I need to comment on:

David Letterman
Obviously, he has had sex with his co-workers.  He admitted it.  I don't really like to get into the messiness of other people's sex lives, affairs, infidelity and I'm not really going to now.  What bugs the hell out of me is the idiot who tried to blackmail him (of course, I am assuming he is guilty of this and will have to rewrite something later if it turns out he is not).  He/his attorney keeps saying things like "He has proof that Letterman was sexually harassing his employees."  "He has proof of blah, blah, blah."  All of that is well and good.  But there is where I think the guy is an asshat - it's not your job to call him out on those things.  You can't take him to court for sexual harassment unless it was you he harassed.  Letterman potentially being guilty of sexual harassment is NOT an excuse for you to blackmail and certainly not an excuse to consider yourself not guilty of blackmail.  If Letterman is guilty of sexual harassment and you have proof, it's great that the women involved have an advocate should THEY want to pursue charges.  However, if what you say is true and your whole defense of your actions is that you have proof, why didn't you go to the police with it instead of accepting a 2 million dollar check? Oh, and now it appears the reporter/blackmailer found some undelivered love letters from his girlfriend and ex-intern for Letterman and the reporter decided to hand deliver one to Letterman. I am choosing to interpret this reporter nut job as a L-O-S-E-R. (If it turns out I am wrong, I will recant.)

Jon and Kate
I have never really followed the show, but about a year or so ago, my oldest watched it faithfully and I would catch bits and pieces.  They were a cute family, though Kate was a little pushy.  As a mom of three (me), though, I can totally understand her need to be in control when you have a family of ten.  Imagine what it would be like if it were otherwise.  As for Jon.  He is an ass.  Funny how for the last however many years the show has been on television, he had no problem with it or thought the show was a detriment to his kids.  BUT, within days of his name being removed from the title, all of a sudden he's concerned for their well being.  Yeah, we're really too stupid to not see the coincidence there, asshat.  Julia, at Sometimes Lucid, posted a video of Jon on Nancy Grace's show. Man, she let him have it. In the past, Kate always kept him in line and spoke for him. Now apparently, he has turned that responsibility over to his lawyer because he can't put a sentence together. He tried to explain that he was putting a stop to the show for his kids, but he would not answer why he did that NOW and not long ago, or at least earlier on when he and Kate started having marital issues and there might have been a chance to work it out.  I am choosing to interpret this nut job behavior of late as L-O-S-E-R. (If it turns out I am wrong, I will recant.)

And now, I apologize for blogging about something so really unimportant, but I just had to get it off my chest.  There you have it.  Later I will be back to more important topics, like my youngest son mooning kids on the bus or my latest shopping spree.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Everything's amazing, nobody's happy

You may have seen this on Conan, on You Tube and/or on Facebook.  If you haven't, take a look.  It's a great message.

I was mistaken for a 7th grader. Or was that an 8th grader?

On Friday night, after my trip to the ER for stitches in my thumb (see Saturday's post), I chaperoned a 7th/8th grade dance. My have things changed. My have things stayed the same.

First, to get to my post title. I was a "floater" meaning that I was roaming and on the lookout for any shennanigans, checking the girls restroom, making sure no one was doing anything ... WRONG. (Just typing that makes me laugh because I am not sure, based on my past behaviors as an adolescent, teen, young adult, hell, even adulthood, that I am qualified for that job.) I was standing on the stage so I could see into the dance crowd. There were hundreds of kids on the dance floor (and a few more hundred roaming around at the other stations set up to keep the kids entertained). People, I would rather be body surfing in the mosh pit of a Nirvana concert than to be in the middle of that crowd. Anyway, I was standing on the stage...and the DJ comes over and says "You can't be standing up here. You need to be down on the floor." I stood and looked at him with a very puzzled look on my face. This was EXACTLY where I was told one of my posts should be. He then realized I was wearing a name tag and said "Oh geeze, you're a parent. I'm sorry, I thought you were a student." I was oddly flattered to be mistaken for a 12-14 yr. old girl.

The biggest difference I noticed is that boys dance now a days. There were tons of boys, my son included, on the dance floor boogying down. Now we don't listen to Miley Cyrus or any other teeny bopper music in our house, but my son still knows the songs and still knows the official dances that go along with them. (And now that I type that, I think I need to ask him how? HOW do you know? When did I ever teach you to listen to this music and dance those dances? What happened to The Killers? Cold Play? The Cure? You're killing me, kid!) Anyway, guys and girls were dancing all over the place. That place STUNK. Hundreds of sweaty kids that no amount of deodorant solids, sprays or shower gels could overcome. There was really no slow dancing though. Only one slow song was played and that pretty much cleared the floor.

One thing that hasn't changed? Girls cry at dances. For reasons known and unknown - "she looked at me wrong" and/or "she didn't stand next to me for X line dance" and/or "she said she likes Suzie better" and/or "I saw Connor kissing Emily". Who really knows? And who really cares? I stayed away from those girls.

Kids like to stay away from their parents. That hasn't changed. Big E did come to talk to me a couple of times, but for the most part, when we saw each other we did the "chin nod". Ya know, when you walk by someone and kind of flip your chin up in the air to acknowledge each other and hope no one else saw it.

A big surprise was that Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" was one of the most popular songs - with all the kids and all the parents knowing all the words. I was very perplexed by this and later learned this is one of the songs on Guitar Hero, hence, the knowledge. I wanted to track my son down and scream "I saw this band in concert in 1986!" Another thing I learned? Michael Jackson's "Beat It" is still a great song for all to dance to - young and old. And when the DJ played a 21st century club version of the 1980's Dead or Alive song "You Spin Me Round" it was hard for me not to get out on the dance floor and show these kids how it's done. But that wouldn't have been very chaperone-like of me. I managed to contain myself.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Trauma 101: Three stitches, a steristrip and a tetanus shot

Cute, isnt' he?  It's a damn good thing, because in a roundabout way, he's responsible for this:

and this:

Three stitches, a steristrip and a tetanus shot.

I recently started feeding Ace canned food.  I use the canned food with the pull tab lids.  The Ronald McDonald house collects the tabs from those pull lids to raise money for their charity, so I save the tabs.  I was pulling the tab off, clearly holding the can lid in a not so safe way when I sliced into my thumb and later discovered I also sliced my finger.  I had my thumb all bandaged up and could not figure out where the continued blood was coming from.  It was my finger.  My thumb was gushing, giving no indication it was going to stop, so I went to my neighbor, who is a doctor.  He looked at it and pretty much said, "Get in the car, I'll drive you to ER."  So, three stitches in the thumb, a steristrip on the finger and a tetanus shot later, I came home, only to get ready to go chaperone a 7th/8th grade dance, which I will write about later.  The good news?  VICODIN.  And 7-10 days off work.  It's hard to give massages with a thumb you can't use or get wet.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Happy Day, Part 2

In 2003, my birthday (which was yesterday in case you didn't stop by yesterday to read about it) was permanently altered.  In a good way.  My family, which consisted of me, MG, Big E and Sous Chef, were out to dinner celebrating my 36th birthday.  We finished up and the three guys went to the men's room.  I laid down in the booth where we had just eaten.  When they came back, I went to the ladies' room.  It took me about ten minutes to get back to our seat.  I kept having to stop along the way.  Why?  Because I had gone into labor with CJ!  I panicked our waitress when she stopped to ask me if I was OK and my response, as I was leaning over an empty chair, was "Oh, I'm fine.  I'm just having a baby."  She ran off shouting something like "I need their check!"  I didn't even get a free meal. 

After getting the kids settled with some friends and going home to get my bag, we were made comfortable at the hospital.  (Since Sous Chef was born in about 30 minutes, we, especially MG, were happy I was at the hospital to deliver this baby.  They had prepared us for a home delivery in case this labor went as quickly.)  So I laid around, we watched TV and at 2:36AM on October 2nd, the little guy below, peacefully joined our family.  My doctor said it was one of the calmest, most beautiful births she had witnessed.  (I think she may say that to all the moms, but it was still nice to hear and it was definitely my easiest one!) 

At 9 lbs 5 oz., CJ was my lightest baby.   I don't remember the measurements, but he was also my longest baby and had the smallest head (which maybe explains the ease of this delivery!).  Me, my husband, and my doctor, who knew my other babies, kept commenting on how SMALL CJ was.  The nurses kept looking at us like we were crazy.

He is a funny, sweet and ornery little boy.  Earlier this week, the school principal called to tell me he had to talk to CJ because he mooned the kids on the bus.  I just don't know where he would ever get THAT behavior.  The other day he and I were eating lunch and he said he had to burp.  Then he said, "Oh, wait, it went into my stomach."  So I said, "Oh, well maybe it will come out as a fart."  The child literally cracked up laughing and choked on the Sunkist drink that he had in his mouth. 

Not a day goes by that he doesn't say one or all of the following:
"Your hair looks nice."
"You are pretty."
"Your shirt is pretty."
"I love you.  MORE."
"I love you.  INFINITY."
"I love you.  A 1,000 miles."

After some of my medical challenges in the past, we were not sure we would have a baby #3.  And when I think of that, I shudder.  I can't imagine this family without CJ in it.

Here is what this cutie looks like now.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Happy Day

Today is all about me.  Yep, it's my birthday. That picture above was taken while my BFF and I were in Hawaii (You know, the trip I went on a couple of weeks ago.  Have I mentioned it?).  We went to dinner after we went to see Cirque Polynesia and the manager asked us why we were in Hawaii, etc. etc.  I'm pretty sure he was expecting for us to say we were on our honeymoon.  We told him we were on a vacation to celebrate our 40th birthdays and that we were two years late in the celebration.  Being the kind manager that he was, he and the waitress decorated our dessert plates, honoring our 40th birthdays and NOT our 42nd birthdays.  They know how to butter up their customers for a big tip.

I will be celebrating this afternoon by going to lunch, alone (which I love to do) and reading "East of Eden" (Again.  It's one of my favorite books.) while I eat without having to talk to anyone or cut up anyone's food.  After lunch, I am going to get a 90 minute massage from one of the best massage therapists I know (besides myself, of course!).  The evening will be spent with the family.

So today, it is my day.  But feel free to wish LQ "Happy Birthday" too.  Her birthday was Sept. 2.