Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Some would slap me for this.

If you've been around the last couple of weeks, you know I took a lovely vacation to Hawaii with my best friend.  You know we had some fun times and lots of laughs.  We left our families behind, my husband and three kids and her husband and two kids.  I was anxious and giddy at the same time.  I don't like flying without my family, especially 4,500 miles.  I was thrilled to be going somewhere so wonderful with my best friend, whom I hadn't seen in almost a year because of her remote living location in Guam.  I received some shit from various people about leaving my husband with the kids, vacationing without my family, spending so much money on ME, etc. etc.

With all of that said, here is a conversation LQ and I had by the pool, about 4 days into our trip. 

Me:  "I know some moms would slap me for saying this, but I don't miss my kids."
Her, looking at me intently: "Neither do I."
Me:  "I don't really miss MG, either."
Her: "Yep."

And people, it was true.  I loved talking to them on the phone and hearing about their day, but I really didn't miss them.  And I realized I don't when I go away.  Eleven days is the longest I have been away from them.  Prior to this trip, eight days was my longest and those trips were with my husband. (Actually, I had WEEKS without the kiddos when I was recovering from surgery and I was in a whole other mind frame then and I don't count that!)  I am always excited to see them as I am making my way home.  I am always excited to see MG when he gets back from a trip.  I love the hugs and kisses that follow my arrival.  But while I AM away, nope, no missing going on.  I so enjoyed the relaxing, laid back days of my vacation that I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.  I could have stayed much longer.  I knew my kids were in good hands and I knew my husband was gaining even more valuable experience as a parent - getting their lunches packed, checking homework, getting them on the bus, dressing them for pictures, getting them signed up for extracurricular activities, making the trip to ER for a broken bone and the follow up appointments - all the things I do when I am there.  He even arranged for his own help by calling his parents and asking them to come for some of the time I was gone.

Oh, and while we were having that conversation, I do believe we were sipping one of these, a strawberry lava flow which we had every day we were at the pool.

For more Hawaiian photos and adventures go HERE for pictures and HERE for a kick ass funny video.


  1. I'm going to Hawaii in a few weeks sans my kiddos. It's a dirty little secret - thanks for being brave enough to come out with it. Yes, I too enjoy my time w/o the kids. One day they will understand why mommy needed a trip to Hawaii.

    Love your blog!

  2. There is nothing wrong with not missing the nagging the yelling the crying and whining. That's just the husband!

    We all need a break from each other at one time or another and there is no reason anyone should try to make you feel guilty about that! You had an awesome trip of a lifetime that YOU deserved. I am glad you didn't miss them... I would worry about you if you had.

  3. I certainly wouldn't slap you for that. I think I always feel a little twinge of guilt for not missing my kids but the longest I have left them for was about 5 days and that was for a business trip. I think as they get older the guilt will go away!!

  4. You're awesome; I love your honestly :)

  5. You've got great kids and a WONDERFUL husband....but yeah, I didn't miss them after 4 days in Hawaii....shoot....I really don't miss them after 12 months. But I am looking forward to seeing them again!

  6. Honestly, I know exactly what you mean.

  7. No slapping from me! I think it's crazy to think that we must or even will b4 around our children or spouses 24/7. We all need a little time apart in order to retain our sanity and make us good partners and parents. Heck, my kids spent three days/nights at my mom's over the summer. She only lives 2 minutes from me, but I honestly can say that I didn't miss them the entire time they were gone. Of course I showered them with love when they returned, but we all survived the time apart. I think it has a great deal to do with knowing you can trust your kids and you can trust the person caring for them in your absence, and clearly, you can trust your husband for caring for the kids is part of his role as a parent, too.

  8. No slapping from me. If you know your kids are in good hands you can rest easy and enjoy.

    It's all about balance. (Like I know what I'm talking about.)

  9. Hi! I have been follwoing/lurking at your blog for a few weeks and haven't commented. Sorry, I am not usually quiet!

    But this blog is one that I SO related to!
    Every year me and a bunch of girls go to Florida for a week! We call it our Momcation and we always go over Mothers Day weekend! I (we) have taken some crap about this too. Yes, I love my kids and I know they will still be here when I get home. We just say "What better Mothers Day than sitting on the beach, drinking foofoo drinks, and watching the speedos with out hearing any one whine about anything"!
    So, no, no slapping. Actually more envy because Hawaii is one place I so want to go to!

  10. THANK YOU for saying that. Of course, I have no little ones, but I've always been a bit concerned that I have always thought that I would SO NOT miss my S.O. or kiddies while I was gone on a trip. Every. other. mother. I know says that they miss them like crazy. I figured I'd be a bad mother. But, I KNOW you are a GREAT mother, so I'm safe!