Thursday, August 6, 2009

I lied. Sort of. Well, not really.

I am half way through my solo week and loving it!  I am totally enjoying the freedom of being able to come and go as I please, eat when I want, sleep when I want, watch what I want, sleep when I want.  The painting is coming along and I will finish that up today.  If you see me out, you will recognize me.  I am the one with Autumn Fog colored paint, which is a blue-grey, all over myself.  Who needs haircolor when you have a gallon of paint?

My mom called and wanted to get together, my parents and me, for dinner on Friday.  My mom doesn't understand my need, my desire, to be alone as often as I like.  So I think she thinks she is doing me a favor by inviting me out.  But really, I see them enough.  I just saw them last week.  We will be seeing them again next weekend.  All I could think when I heard her message was "Shit.  I don't want to go to dinner on Friday."  Isn't that terrible?  So I didn't return the call because I was thinking up excuses to get out of this.  She called this morning and all I said was, "Oh, I already have plans, but thanks for the invite.  I'll see you guys next weekend."  It wasn't a total lie.  I do have plans.  My plans are to do nothing.  That's a legitimate plan, right?  I didn't say "I have plans with someone else," or "I am going out with so and so."  I just said "I have plans."  Not really a lie in my book.  No need to spew the total truth and piss her off or hurt her feelings.

So how do you get out of doing things you don't want to do?  Do you lie?  Do you make things up?  Do you tell the whole ugly truth?  Or do you go along and do the things you don't want to do just to keep the peace?

On the other hand, if any of you want to meet up for drinks or dinner, I'm in.


  1. that isn't a lie at all! (at least in my book. but my moral standards are fairly low).

    i generally say yes to things and then back out. that is a horrible thing to admit to, but it is true. things always seem like a fun, good idea when offered to me, but when the time comes around to shower and dress and actually leave the house, i have lost any desire (unless it is something super fun).

  2. I usually do what you did ... lie but in a not-reeally-a-lie-way.

    Or sometimes I just say "no, I'm sorry I won't be able to make it" with no explanation.

    It's taken me a long time to realize that it's ok to say No and it's ok to take care of myself first when I need to.

    Enjoy your alone time!

  3. I think what you did is totally ok. I can relate to needing alone time...I love it and don't get enough of it. I wish we could meet up for drinks and dinner!

  4. "Or do you go along and do the things you don't want to do just to keep the peace?"

    Only if I'll die if I don't. I, too, like to be alone when I can. I crave it. I've worked hard to like myself well enough to do that. Hard to give it up when I don't want to.

  5. I do all of the above, depending on who I'm talking to and how little I want to do the activity. Sometimes it's easier to fudge the truth than deal with a strong personality.

    I'm ok with it.

  6. I do the "I have plans" thing too, which works until my friend says "Oh, what are you doing??", then I have to scramble to make up something that sounds good!!!! I'm a terrible on-spot liar.

    I've just reached the point in my life where I try not to commmit to anything! What sounds like fun on Tuesday often doesn't appeal to me come Friday, and I hate backing out. So I try to stay noncommittal and then if I show up, great...and if I don't, nobody is surprised or pissed!

  7. One of the nice things about getting older is the freedom you fell to say NO, to say what you think and not go along with something you really don't agree with! When I was younger, I know I would go along with some things - just not to make waves!

  8. I think you did the perfectly correct thing. Especially if it would have hurt your mom's feelings. I would have told my mom I wanted to be alone and she would have said, "Oh, okay." But other people in my life would just not get it.....

    Yay for alone time! And speaking of it, TONIGHT I get to be home alone in my home for the FIRST TIME EVER! I am not kidding....since giving birth to Kid #1 over seven years ago, I have not been in my OWN home alone not even once for one night. I have been out in the world alone but not at my own place. And I am beyond excited.....

    ONE NIGHT. Yippee!

  9. I just don't answer the phone! And if asked, I think I'd say I'm going out of town. That way no one can refute it.

  10. The same thing just happened to me! If it's family I tell the truth. They can usually handle it if I just don't feel like doing something. Otherwise, I say I'm busy. If pushed on the subject though, I'll lie. I hate being made to feel guilty because I don't want to do something.