Saturday, August 8, 2009

Croutons for lunch

Yep.  That's the kind of thing you can get away with when you're all alone.  I am trying to remember if I ate odd things like that when I was single and living alone.  I guess I probably did but it maybe it didn't seem odd at the time.  Funny how things change as we "grow up."

This week has been a pleasant reminder of living life alone.  I have only felt lonely a couple of times.  For the most part, I have thoroughly enjoyed the solitude.  When it gets too much, I drop by the neighbors or go shopping or out to eat.  I have been reading.  Oh, and I only had one sleepless night due to crazy, dreadful thoughts. I also had one night where I just couldn't sleep to save my life. Not worrying, not out partying. Just awake, watching TV until 5:00AM.  I was on my way to resorting to some strong prescription drugs when I finally felt my body getting tired.

A life of solitude.  After a while of MG and I dating, I started thinking he may be "the one".  (Never mind on our first date he told me "if you are looking for a husband, this date is over" and I responded with "No problem here.  I don't really have any plans of marriage, so we are perfect for each other.")  Before I took that trip down the road of eternal coupledom, I wanted to experience life on my own.  I don't mean that in the sense of not living under my parent's roof or not having them support me.  I was already living "on my own" in that manner and had been for quite a while.  I mean a life ON.MY.OWN.  In my own place with just little ol' me.  All by myself.  I needed to know I could do it.  That I could entertain myself, keep myself busy, function without a roommate.  And I did.  And I loved it.  It was for this very reason, when we did get engaged, I did not move into MG's house before we were married.  We both totally loved living alone, so we wanted to savor those last few months of being able to do that.  We were excited to be getting married and being "one" but we also wanted to soak up those last few "solitary" months.

So almost 16 years later and I still love that solitude.  I know MG does, too.  A lot of people don't get it.  Thankfully, both of us do so there aren't any funny looks when one of us says something about being alone.  This is the longest I have gone since having children that I have been totally on my own.  And I have loved it.  But you know what?  I don't love it more than having my husband and kids around.  It has been a wonderful break and I hope to have more like it.  However, I am really excited to see all my guys pull into the driveway tomorrow so I can give them big hugs and hear their giggling, yelling, fighting (the kids, not Chris!), having friends over and causing general chaos in my house again!

6 comments:

  1. Am I first ? Totally love alone time and always have. Its therapeutic. However, I completely agree that I'll take the chaos over the solitude any day !! Enjoy the welcome home party !!

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  2. I dont do well when alone...sometimes I like it...most times i like those closest to me near...yes i am needy...r we friends on FB??? if not why? lol

    I left you something on my blog...I hope you will grab it...

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  3. Get up early...so you can still savor the quiet...and then when they get there, run out to greet them!!!

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  4. I am an only child who now finds herself in a family of 6. I like both aspects - the solitude and the crowd!

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  5. i am glad i am not the only one who loves alone time. in fact, if i don't have a little of it every day, i get overwhelmed FAST.

    have fun reuniting with your sweet boys.

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  6. Well, you know me, I'm SUCH a hermit. I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to handle it when sig o and kids enter my life. Hopefully, I'll take it in stride like you and learn to crave interaction with them more. :)

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