I am pretty sure I am suffering from PTSD as a result of those fucking bed bugs in our hotel room. (If you don't know what I am talking about, see yesterday's post.) I think I am also suffering from delusional parasitosis. I itch. I keep inspecting my kids for any kind of mark that might look like a bug bite of any kind. Every little dark speck I see I am convinced is a bed bug. I actually looked for a magnifying glass last night to inspect what I finally decided was the crumb off the crust of some bread. I am not sure I will ever be able to sleep in a hotel room again. I am learning all the tricks to checking hotel rooms for bed bugs, just in case I encounter a hotel room in the near future. I will be fully trained in bed bug inspection before I go to Hawaii in September. I have talked to a pest control company about all the gory details of bed bugs and how to get rid of them if we end up having an infestation. And let me tell you, my friends, that process is a nightmare. Moving to another country, without the aid of a relocation company, would be easier.
The night I moved hotels and I was in our bathroom at 2:00 in the morning going through every stitch of clothing and luggage, I lost it. I was laughing so maniacally, so hysterically, that if anyone had heard me, they would have certainly taken me away in a straight jacket. The only good thing about that is that they would have sedated me! Part of the laughing was because if I didn't laugh, I would have run screaming from the building, even though I had thoroughly inspected the mattresses, floor boards and drawers in the new hotel and declared an "all clear". The other part of my hysteria was that I really did think it was quite comical, in a crazy sort of way. Really, what else could happen? Maybe having to outdrive a tornado when I have five kids in the car? Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen....
Oh, Just Shut Up and Lie Down Somewhere
8 hours ago