Saturday, May 30, 2009

Saturday Leftovers

My couple of fragments from Friday were quite lengthy, but I did have more to add. I just didn't want to provide so much boredom in one day, so I am continuing today.
  • I went to Victoria's Secret to buy this.
  • And let me tell you, I am in love with this bra. So much so that I bought one in the color on the model (still doesn't make me look like her, though) and also a nude colored one. I tried to find some matching panties for the color above. You would think they would get a shipment in before the weekend shoppers hit the mall. They had almost no undies in this color. I found two pairs - one pair was rather large for my needs and the other one was lacy (good) but was "one size fits all". I checked them out but something about "one size fits all" for my ass just didn't seem right, so I passed. I'll check again later.

    Thankfully, a while back, I was measured at an upscale lingerie boutique for the correct bra size because the chicas at VS don't know shit about bra sizing. They don't even make the size I need, so I went for the next band size and lowered the cup size, just like they explained to me at the boutique. (Lower band size increases cup size, larger band size lowers cup size. For example, if you were say, ahem, a 32DD and you liked a style that didn't come in that size, you could try a 34D. If the 32DD is too big in the band, you could try a 30E. Get it? Got it? Good!) I was picking out a bra size and since they didn't have the size I needed, I decided to up the band size one size to accomodate for the lack of the smaller size (and also maybe for the few extra pounds I packed on this winter). Then someone offered to help me. I told her what I was looking for and we found the size in various colors. Then all hell broke loose when she said "May I suggest you try the ## (this would be the next band size)?" I must have scowled at her and she saw my fingers were itching to scratch her eyes out because she quickly said, "This new bra is running small." Yeah, bitch, you already offended me. Off I go with what I think is my size. I try it on, strut out of the dressing room and say, "Is this how it's supposed to fit?" The little clerk chica, a different one from the offensive sales clerk, comes over and says, "Yes, that looks great!" I'm thinking something is wrong and that it has to do with my boobies feeling a little too squished. They have a whole bunch of bras in drawers back there, so I ask for my size in nude since it wasn't out front. She hands me one. I am putting it on and I immediately can tell it fits different, better. I check the size and it's the same band size but now double letters for the cup size. I strut out and explain to her the sizing difference and ask about the fit. "Which ones feels better?" she asks. I'm thinking, "WTF? Tell me this is how it fits or it doesn't and that I need to go back to the other one. Don't ask me how it feels. You are supposed to know by looking at it and if you couldn't tell my boobies were oozing out of the previous bra, your ass should be fired!" I ended up with my original band size of choice and the larger cup size, wanting to tackle the offensive sales clerk to the ground and rub the tag in her face screaming, "Look at this bitch! I DID NOT NEED THE LARGER BAND SIZE. I NEEDED THIS SIZE AND I HAVE TO PUT IT ON THE TIGHTEST HOOK! SO THERE, I HAVE ROOM TO GROW!"
  • After being all excited, in an odd way, about being in a smoke filled room at the concert on Thursday night, on Friday, all day long the back of my throat tasted like an ash tray. Blech. I got a massage on Friday and every time the therapist told me to take a deep breath, I thought I was going to break out in an emphysema like cough. He laughed when I told him about that and he backed off some on the deep breathing.

8 comments:

  1. I bought a bra similar to that one, but I lost the damn instructions that tell how to work the straps in all those crazy ass ways!
    Dammit!

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  2. Hilarious! Don't get me started with these ass wipes that don't know how to do the simplest of jobs. Customer Service is in the dumper (deep breathes..deep breathes).
    Love the bra, I have zero boobies but my daughter Em would love that one!

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  3. I love the look of that bra. I might go get me one. Sorry you had to go through so much chit to get it.

    I do hope your emphysema subsides soon!

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  4. I hate bra shopping as much as I hate bathing suit shopping! And the girls (yes, girls, not adult women) working at VS are the worst at helping. I think VS is the reason 50 year old women are still wearing the same bras size they wore the first time they stepped into VS when they were 20 years old!!!! They are just no help at all.

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  5. I'm over bra shopping at VS. They don't help. I just grab what I want and try every size. I can't be bothered to ask them!

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  6. I need to go bra shopping. I think my husband is tired of my poor tattered bras.

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  7. Nice. What's up with the straps in the front though? I assume you're very limited on what clothes you can wear it with?

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  8. Funny, I was at a department store and they told me not to go to VS because it's for young woman, not mature women like me. Thanks a lot, not, saleslady. Where does one go these days? Love the bra, hope it is comfy and all things a good bra should be. I sure do appreciate that stuff, being mature and all!

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