Friday, April 3, 2009

Thoughts in my head...

(If you are looking for Friday Fragments, please scroll down.)

I have two major thoughts in my head today that I just can't shake.  They're not something I expect y'all to be interested in or to pursue further information on, but since I started this blog to be able to clear my thoughts, that is what I am going to do.

I found out this morning a guy I grew up with passed away last night.  I knew this was coming and have been waiting for the news.  I have known him since kindergarten.  As time went on, we were not necessarily friends, but we did run in some of the same circles in HS.  In elementary school, he was the cute boy that everyone wanted to hang with.  All the girls giggled and got flustered when he was around.  In 5th grade or so, I lost out to a student council election to him!  Other things I remember about him is that he was quite the accomplished soccer player in our HS years.  He was also still a cutie.  He was nice and fairly soft spoken, but had a wild side. (Okay, maybe it was ME who had the wild side!)  I remember being at his house for a party in HS and puking on his driveway because I drank too much.  He is also one of 13 or so kids in his family.  When we were in late elementary or early junior high school, his mom gave birth to their youngest child on the same day as one of their daughters-in-law.  The mothers shared a room.  Imagine, having a baby on the same day you welcome your first grandchild into the world!  He came from a family of doctors.

So where did it go wrong?  After HS he abused and became addicted to drugs.  I don't remember which ones, but I remember them being the "big" ones, meth or something like that.  Right before our 20th HS reunion, he had a major stroke and barely made it through that.  He never totally recovered, from what I heard.  His family has a history of heart disease and the combination of it all finally took his life.  It's sad and I don't know 100% of the details.  I don't think I have seen him since HS, just have heard the stories.  There are more, but I don't think this is the place to go into it, especially since I don't know if everything I hear is true.  But I can say this, it makes me sad.  Not just that he seems to have wasted his life, but that his family is having to deal with this.

The second thing I can't stop thinking about is this case.  I have been following it pretty closely.  I was so sure they would find him innocent.  I wanted them to be able to say without a doubt that he was innocent.  I do not know this man, but I know a couple of people who know him, the victim and the parents.  The people who know him and knew them as a couple don't believe he could have done this.  The evidence seems "iffy," to me, for a conviction.  Of course, I've only heard what the news has reported, but still.  I'm glad I was not on this jury, but I would like to know what they heard or saw the convinced them this man murdered his young wife.  And I can't keep thinking "what if he is innocent?"  How awful to be charged with the murder of a loved one when you know you didn't do it.  The frustration, the anger, that must go with that.  How does one live with that?  How do the family members live with that?  How do the jurors live with that?  They must have been convinced 100% or they wouldn't have convicted, right?


  1. Wow. I Hadn't heard anything about that case. It is tough because if he did do it then of course he needs to be prosecuted and if he didn't then I can't imagine how terrible that would feel be accused of killing someone you loved so much.

    BTW, I am digging the Coldplay.

  2. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I like your "remodel." ;)

  3. What a letdown, huh? That poor family.

    (Hmmm...that sentence seems to work for both issues.)

    But, yes, you're supposed to be 100% convinced, but I think "our peers" sluff that off more often than not. I would be the most DESPERATE person on the face of this earth if that happened and I was innocent. Faaaaaccck, I cannot even imagine.

  4. Criminy - third time is the charm to leave a comment, I hope. My computer issues.

    Anyway - that case, wow. So sad on so many levels.

    And your friend. I'm so sorry. For everything involved there.

  5. That's a heartbreaking case, regardless.
    It's always sad when someone wastes the gift of life. My heart goes out to your classmate's family.

    And sorry this is very off-topic, but your blog layout is so beautiful.... :)

  6. well, as 100% as "reasonable doubt" gets you, anyway. a juror was quoted in the local paper here as saying they based their decision (mostly) on the timing of the 911 call and the sleep study expert's opinion of no matter how deeply you might be asleep, you would wake up when your face is immersed in water.

    i don't know enough to state an opinion but i will: i just can't fathom, in this day and age, a 28 year old man would murder his wife because she found out he likes porn or wanted to have "anonymous" sex. really? wouldn't they just have a fight and then either get divorced or get over it?

    reasonable doubt?

  7. holy cow. this was a powerful post from both directions.

    I want to believe they were 100% sure. Odds are really slim that they could convince ALL of them unless they had a lot of supporting evidence. right?