I mentioned recently that my BFF and I are heading to Hawaii this fall for a girls only trip. We have been best friends since college. For as long as I can remember, we have talked about going on a trip for our 40th birthdays. This decision was made long before husbands and kids. Well, almost two years ago, our 40th birthdays came and went, but no trip. Each of us had just relocated to new states and were getting settled and it just didn't happen. She is now living in Guam and I am in Ohio and Hawaii is half way. We decided this was the perfect time and place for a trip, otherwise we would only see each other once over the next three or so years. Plus it was a good reason to go to Hawaii! We had struggled at one point about where to go and this kind of made the decision for us.
So now that we are in the early planning stages of this trip, I have been asked by many people "Your husband is allowing you to go on a girls only trip for that long? To Hawaii?" "How did you convince your husband to let you go on this trip?" "What does your husband say about you going away for that long? To Hawaii?" and the big one "Who is taking care of your kids while you are gone?"
To that last question, I always find it hard to keep my mouth from dropping to the ground. Let's see. I am married and my kids have two parents. When one parent is gone, who usually takes care of the kids? THE OTHER PARENT! It seems so obvious to me that my husband will be taking care of our kids while I am gone. Will he have some help? Maybe. He may hire a sitter once or twice. He may ask a neighbor to get a kid off the bus. He may even ask his parents or mine to come help out for a day or two. But all of that will be up to him. Mainly, he will be the one taking care of the kids while I am gone. I am surprised when people are surprised by this. He did agree to parent these kids and that means taking care of them in my absence. I don't think I would have had kids with someone who wouldn't do that.
As for the other questions, MG and I don't "allow" each other to do anything - we don't ask permission and we don't do a sales pitch to "convince" one another. We do discuss and then we make decisions based on one another's input. And the decision that's made is NOT always the one that each would have preferred, but is generally accepted by each of us. That's called compromise and we are pretty good at it. His input to this trip? "Go! Have fun! I can't wait to see the pictures." I don't think I would be married to someone who reacted any differently.
PS: My hubs also gets away with friends for vacations, so don't think this is a one sided event! : )
PSS: We also enjoy vacationing with just the two of us and as an entire family!
I am a 40 something chick, married (to Motorcycle Guy, AKA MG) and raising three boys (Big E, Sous Chef and CJ). We live in the burbs, which I am still adjusting to, even after 11+ years, and counting!