Monday, April 20, 2009

Girls getaway!

I mentioned recently that my BFF and I are heading to Hawaii this fall for a girls only trip.  We have been best friends since college.  For as long as I can remember, we have talked about going on a trip for our 40th birthdays.  This decision was made long before husbands and kids.  Well, almost two years ago, our 40th birthdays came and went, but no trip.  Each of us had just relocated to new states and were getting settled and it just didn't happen.  She is now living in Guam and I am in Ohio and Hawaii is half way.  We decided this was the perfect time and place for a trip, otherwise we would only see each other once over the next three or so years.  Plus it was a good reason to go to Hawaii!  We had struggled at one point about where to go and this kind of made the decision for us. 

So now that we are in the early planning stages of this trip, I have been asked by many people "Your husband is allowing you to go on a girls only trip for that long?  To Hawaii?"  "How did you convince your husband to let you go on this trip?"  "What does your husband say about you going away for that long?  To Hawaii?"  and the big one "Who is taking care of your kids while you are gone?"

To that last question, I always find it hard to keep my mouth from dropping to the ground.  Let's see.  I am married and my kids have two parents.  When one parent is gone, who usually takes care of the kids?  THE OTHER PARENT!  It seems so obvious to me that my husband will be taking care of our kids while I am gone.  Will he have some help?  Maybe.  He may hire a sitter once or twice.  He may ask a neighbor to get a kid off the bus.  He may even ask his parents or mine to come help out for a day or two.  But all of that will be up to him.  Mainly, he will be the one taking care of the kids while I am gone.  I am surprised when people are surprised by this.  He did agree to parent these kids and that means taking care of them in my absence.  I don't think I would have had kids with someone who wouldn't do that.

As for the other questions, MG and I don't "allow" each other to do anything - we don't ask permission and we don't do a sales pitch to "convince" one another.  We do discuss and then we make decisions based on one another's input.  And the decision that's made is NOT always the one that each would have preferred, but is generally accepted by each of us.  That's called compromise and we are pretty good at it.  His input to this trip?  "Go!  Have fun!  I can't wait to see the pictures."  I don't think I would be married to someone who reacted any differently.

PS:  My hubs also gets away with friends for vacations, so don't think this is a one sided event! : )
PSS:  We also enjoy vacationing with just the two of us and as an entire family!

12 comments:

  1. Happy Monday - I'm your newest follower from MBC! Hope to see you at my blog as well.

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  2. Happy Day! I am a new follower! Love that you are taking a trip w/out kids and hubby! What a great way to rediscover yourself!

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  3. OMGosh! I am so with you on the children having 2 parents. I have a friend whose husband told her that he wasnt "babysitting" when we were scheduled for a work trip. I was like, BABYSITTING? Excuse me, thought they were his children also! How do you babysit your own children? At the job I used to have, I had to go on trade shows all the time and sales kickoffs. I never had a problem. My husband is a great father, never had to worry about them! I also won several nice trips that I took my best friend from high school on and another good friend on because my husband would NOT fly at the time. He now flies, LOL, since we flew to our son's basic graduation back in 2007 and then to CA last Sept to see him before he went to Iraq.

    His comments were the same as your husbands on the trips he didnt go on, Have fun!

    I still get really irked when I hear statements that make it sound like the daddy cant be the caretaker. I used to deal with comments like, you are leaving your kids with your husband? Dont you feel guilty? UH NO, I didnt and I still dont! LOL

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  4. We also have 3 boys although they are relatively grown now. My two oldest will be 22 and 20 in June and our youngest just turned 14 in February.

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  5. I think that separate vacays is probably the recipe for a great marriage or relationship.
    Who's to say what works? Visit herewhen you get a chance!

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  6. As you can imagine with my trip next week the husband and I have had similar conversations! I am trying not to get too excited in his presence but it's hard ...

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  7. How FUN! You know, if it were the guy going away, those questions would never get asked.

    Good for you! :)

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  8. I am so happy that you will be able to go on this trip! Envious even. That is the way a marriage should be. How wonderful you have such a great man!

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  9. What a fun trip, and how great you get to take it all in with a longtime friend!

    I just want to sigh when reading this post. I think fathers get so short-changed by society when it comes to child-rearing. Of course they're capable of taking care of things while a mom is away! Heck, most of the time, my boys would probably prefer I was the one who traveled for work more and their dad was the caretaker! They think he hung the moon!

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  10. I love you more and more every day. And MG too, of course. :)

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  11. I'm with Suburbia Steph: men never get asked about who 'lets' them go on their trips.

    I think it's hard sometimes for women to seize the moment and take that well deserved break or trip. Good for you for making this plan a reality. I know you'll have a fabulous time! Sounds like a blast!

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