Saturday, February 21, 2009

Installing a husband

While I am off to my movie marathon, I thought you might enjoy the following:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
· NBA 5.0
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?



First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

(While I wish I was creative enough to have written this, I did not. I received it in an e-mail.)


  1. I love this one! It cracks me up every time. I hopeyou enjoyed your marathon ;)

  2. I'm jealous of your movie marathon, and I love this. Hilarious.

  3. OMGosh LMAO....I have not seen this before loved it!

    Have fun at the movie marathon!

  4. can't wait to hear what you thought about the movies.

    this was funny.... uh, and true!

  5. That's awesome!!! You deserve an award just for that one!

  6. So, did you write it, or did you borrow it? I love it! Very creative.

  7. So true! I'm wondering if I should just keep Boyfriend 5.0 indefinitely???