Well, I am convinced here in the US, we need some simple and obvious rules being repeated over the loudspeaker at the grocery store and maybe some postings inside the grocery cart as a constant reminder for proper grocery cart maneuvering. Here are some basic rules for all shoppers to follow:
- Keep moving once inside the door. Translation: do not get just inside the door to the warm (or cool if it's summertime) air and STOP to review your grocery list, take off your gloves and hat, check your makeup or pick your undies out of your ass. Keep moving and pull off to the right (we ARE in the US after all) so those of us who need to keep moving can pass on the left. If you stop in front of me in this totally inapropriate place I will probably run my cart into you. And I won't apologize. In fact, I'm more likely to say something like, "Idiot, keep moving or get your ass out of the way."
- When you are at the meat counter, do not park your cart right in front of the glass case so no one else can check out what is inside. Things will go a lot faster for all of us if you park your cart back some and walk your lazy ass sans cart to the counter to place your order. Yes, that requires you CARRYING your order all the way back to your cart, but get over it.
- Keep to the right in the aisles. Isn't it obvious? Do you drive your car on the left side of the road? Or in the middle? Let's hope not. The same rule applies to your cart. Even if what you need is on the left side of the aisle, stop your cart and cross over that great big space called an aisle to get your item(s). Again, I realize this requires the extra step of carrying your item all the way back to your cart, but get over it. You could probably use the exercise.
- Don't pull your cart into the busiest aisle in the store and decide this is the place to sort your coupons. Come on people, organize! And if you can't organize, get the fuck out of the way for the rest of us who ARE organized or are NOT using coupons.
- If you know nothing about technology, computers or electronic scanning, do not, absolutely DO NOT pull your cart into the self-checkout lane with more than one or two items and 20 people in line and take this as your opportunity to train yourself on the ways of the 21st century. Wait until you have one or two items and your toddler with you so he or she can provide you with the proper training.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation!