Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Never enough

I don't think there are enough Kegel exercises to rectify my pelvic floor issues. I am thankful the permanent damage is not in need of surgery, but COME ON! I have had three babies. Large babies - 10.4, 9.9 and 9.5. In that order. I am 5'3" and won't reveal my weight (besides, it fluctuates daily!), but I am within my weight and BMI guidelines. Not skinny, but not overweight. And those babies came out the old fashioned way. So if I sneeze? Cough? Wait too long to get to a toilet? Or god forbid, break into a giggling fit, I need to change my undies.

So yesterday, I was like "Shit, I honestly think I need to change my undies. I didn't do anything to bring this on." And I didn't feel that familiar leak since I didn't do anything to strain my bladder, but there was definitely something going on in my undies. I was in a little bit of a panic, thinking my bladder and pelvic floor muscles had totally given up what little strength they've been hanging on to and just decided to stop working altogether and were just letting the urine flow freely so I didn't even feel it happening! I envisioned a life of wearing Depends. Nope. I started my period. And I had on a GOOD pair of underwear. I HATE that. I usually plan better and wear "throw away" undies when I know I am close to shedding my endometrium. I don't know how I got so out of touch this month that it totally caught me off guard. I think the headache that had me flat on my back on the couch and caused me to skip a PTO board meeting should have been a good indicator of what was going to happen next. It wasn't, but it makes sense now.

12 comments:

  1. When I sneeze I don't follow it with an excuse me, usually I end up saying ::achoo:: Aw, crap.

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  2. I was just thinking about this, ahem, subject, this morning. And when it's close to that time of month I switch to black underwear :)

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  3. Ha ha Julia....black underwear! :) I'm not the only one!

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  4. AMEN- ditto on everything! But wow you had some big babies!

    Thanks for adding the cursing to my comments yesterday- it added the umph that it needed amongst all the yawns!

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  5. Must be a "huge" turnoff for your husband! Being stretched out and all. LOL

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  6. Wow! You did have some big babies!

    I try to plan better, too, but this time it was so late I dang near forgot altogether until I had the same sense of doom!

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  7. Kim - YOU NEED TO COME TO FRANCE! The government pays for women to "re-educate" their pelvic muscles. It's done with an Electric Tampon or a Finger by a certified therapist. I won't go into the details but you've just given me an idea for a future post!
    Good luck and I'm with you regarding the black panties. No TMI here!

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  8. Blogging Under the InfluenceDecember 3, 2008 at 5:01 PM

    Black undies, it is! And La Mom, if I get fingered and have the government pay for it, I am there! It almost sounds illegal, kind of like charging for sex.

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  9. The government likes to screw us anyway...why not a little foreplay?

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  10. Yep me too, every time I sneeze!! It just aint fair! lol LA

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  11. I NEVER plan, and I'm ALWAYS caught off guard. At this point they know me by name at Vicky's Secret.

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  12. OMG, Kim! I'm going to wet MY pants now! Might as well get used to it; I'm told teachers (and truck drivers) have the highest incidences of needing to wear diapers later in life. Shoot.

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