Friday Fragments on Wednesday (I'm a rebel like that!)

We have friends coming to visit, Thursday throught the weekend, from Kansas City so I will be AWOL for a few days.  I don't have a cohesive blog in my thoughts, but I do have lots of little stuff, so I thought I would turn in my Friday Fragments a little early.  If only I had been so committed to my studies!

• I am so excited to see our friends from KC.  I haven't seen Stephanie and her kids since June and we haven't seen her husband since we moved.  Stephanie and I trained and walked the two Breast Cancer 3 Day walks together.  When you train for hours on end and then spend three solid days together - walking, eating, camping, crying in pain and emotion - there isn't much you don't tell one another.  I think I might know her better than I know myself!
• While our friends are here, we'll be seeing some of the sights of Cincy.  Places we haven't been to since BEFORE we moved from Cincy in 2004.  Now that we are back, we just haven't gotten around to it.  My kids are excited because they are going to miss school to do some fun stuff!  The adults are excited - we are going to an adults only meal at a nice, yummy restaurant with a beautiful view of Cincy.
• I'm not overly thrilled with the election turnout in Ohio.  I am not interested in casinos.  I don't mind gambling and it's not against my religion.  I think we've already established that I am a heathen by some people's standards.  I just don't personally gamble and don't need or want it here.  It's a business I don't trust and I don't think it will benefit our state the way they are promising.  I didn't care to see the Livestock Standards pass.  All of the animal rights activists were saying it was bad for the animals, good for the farmers.  I'm happy our Veteran's Compensation Program passed.  And I am THRILLED this one CRAZY woman is off of our local school board.  I could write an entire post about her and probably find the videos of school board meetings to post just to prove my point that the woman is W-A-C-K-Y..
• I almost dry heave when CJ eats a pickle spear with a PB&J sandwich.  I can't think of two things that go together less.  Blech.
• I get nervous every time I have a new male client.  It's true.  I'm always afraid it will be some pervert.  Thankfully, that has only happened to me once and it was when I worked somewhere different than now.
• If you've followed Stellan's story but haven't check in there lately, he is a very sick little boy.  He will be going to Boston later this week for a very risky heart surgery.  You can read his mom's blog here.

It's Election Day!

All across the country, elections are being held.  Some are really big ones that have the potential to affect the national picture, like the Governors of New Jersey and Virginia; others are smaller, state and/or local elections.

Ohio falls into the latter.  In Ohio, we are voting on compensation for recent war veterans and constitutional changes regarding casinos and livestock care standards.  We are voting on libraries, school boards, city councils, township trustees and more.

My point today is, all elections are important.  Please, get out and vote.  I am always disappointed when I hear people say they didn't vote.  There are many reasons, usually lame.  Reasons like "My vote doesn't count," "One vote won't make a difference," "I was too busy (with sports, work, kids, school, friends, etc.),"  "I didn't know who to vote for," "I haven't registered to vote since we moved here."

Every vote counts.  Every vote matters.  We are all busy.  Educate yourself about what is happening in your state and community, get your ass to your local polling station and vote!

Shades of Autumn

I struggle with autumn because it leads to cold and grey winters here in Ohio.  When we lived in Overland Park, KS, we were shocked our first winter to see that the skies were almost always sunny and blue, sometimes with white billowy clouds.  Unless it was raining or snowing, you could count on some good vitamin D.  When we moved back to Ohio, it took us about three days of winter for us both to comment, almost in unison, that we forgot how cold, wet and grey it is here.  It is not unusual to have consecutive days of 33 degree weather and rain.  Rarely snow, which I would prefer.

So in my attempt to focus on the positive, I drove through my neighborhood and took some of the following colorful pictures.

And of course, we have to have the standard Halloween pictures.

This is my favorite picture.  Unfortunately, we no longer have this tree, as it was in our front yard when we lived in Kansas.  And the sky is grey in this picture, so I am guessing it was getting ready to rain or it had just rained.

The worst laundry story ever...

It is a good thing I have friends who send me stories about themselves like the story below, because people, I am losing it. Seriously. I'm moody, I'm yelling and screaming constantly, my kids are driving me crazy and I just want everyone to leave me alone. Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't talk to me. Well, except for this morning when I was asleep on the couch and I was stirred almost awake by a kiss on the cheek from CJ after he woke up at the other end of the couch. THAT was good. Oh, and Ace. He can hang with me whenever. He wants nothing but food three times a day. I can handle that. All he does is follow me around and lays down close to wherever I am and purrs. So unless you are a six year old who can't get enough of me or you are a little orange cat, I suggest you keep a clear distance of me until I recover from this. Here's hoping I DO recover from this.

So, anyway, the highlight of my day was the e-mail below. Yes, it actually happened. Yes, it actually happened to a friend of mine, who happens to be a brilliant physician.  (I mean that with all sincerity.  She is a great resource to those of us who get to hang with her.  Now if we could just get her to whip out that prescription pad.  Unfortunately, she has those pesky medical board laws she's required to follow in order to keep practicing medicine.) I kid you not, I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh while reading this. I thought for sure she would hear me. She just lives up the road, so it would have been possible, because I WAS.CRACKING.UP. Tears and giggles and gasping for air kind of cracking up.

Here it is. THE.WORST.LAUNDRY.STORY.EVER. by Jo's friend, Dr. B.

This is not a story I can share with everyone but you seem as though you could take panty disasters in stride...always check pockets!

So I get up this morning, take a shower, get dressed, and set off on my day. All was well until I swung out of my car at school, at which point I felt a strange and painful pinching sensation in the front of my pants. What the heck? I tried a few discreet tugs to no avail. Finally I dropped off my daughter, got back in the car, and unzipped my jeans. My underwear appeard to be stuck to me. I tried a tug, which was extremely painful, and looked again. What appeared to be a Starburst candy was melted, smoothly and evenly, to the front of my underwear, and as I drove around it had glued itself to me with an apparently permanent bond. In the end I had to go home, take a big breath, and rip them off, resulting in a bizarre inverse bikini wax that left me bare (and bleeding) right up the middle. (I threw the undies out.) Really, can you believe this? I wouldn't if it hadn't happened to me!

I assured Dr. B. that once the hairs grow back and the scabs are gone, she too, will think this is hilarious!

Desperately seeking....

I always get a kick out of seeing the subjects that show up in the search portion of Google Analytics. You know, those words and phrases in a search that bring someone to a blog. Sometimes, they make total sense and others, well, not so much. Here are some that make me wonder who the hell is out there in the blogosphere:

Dew Mouth - A fellow blogger and friend used this phrase in my comment section one time and it has brought several visits to my blog.

Foot behind his neck - I posted a photo of Sous Chef putting his foot behind his neck. Something tells me the person doing this search was looking for something a little different than a child and his foot. At least I hope they were.

Acid giggles - Not everyone gets the giggles when doing acid.

He had a pancake in the place of his ass - At one point, I quoted this line from Chelsea Handler's book My Horizontal Life. I can't imagine what anyone else wanted with this phrase.

"Human Pet" mistress slave stories - I have NEVER written about mistress slave stories of any kind, so I am unsure, and even a little nervous, about this one.

Doctor shits giggles - Oh my. I think he should SEE a doctor, that just doesn't sound normal.

Nude photos my sister - I don't even have a sister, let alone nude photos of her. And if I did, I don't think I would post them here. Unless she really pissed me off.

Women massaging mens asses - I don't do that type of massage, thank you very much. I also didn't blog about it.

There you have it.  There are a lot more I could have chosen - lots of searches using the word MILF, massage, and more.  I will get to them another day.

The body is an amazing structure.

I have recently been treating a friend who is having some major arm, neck and shoulder issues.  I have been a little flummoxed about what might be the cause of all this and have resorted to getting out my anatomy and physiology book.  I was going through some of it the other night and looked at my husband and said, "I can't believe I read and was tested on this entire book in a year's time."  Not to mention, I did great on all of those tests! 

I also recently got an update about a friend's mom who is having some health challenges.  I was reminded that some things involving the body can't totally be explained, definitely won't be in the standard textbook and makes you just go "Wow.  How does the body do that?"

The mom had a heart attack in the recent past.  She also had surgery to correct some of her heart issues.  This past summer, the mom started feeling bad but didn't tell anyone and didn't go to the doctor because she spent the summer in another state and didn't want to deal with new doctors.  So she waited until she got back home.  She finally called her daughter, my friend, and said she needed to see the doctor because she felt like she did before her heart attack.

After the doctor appointment and some tests, the doctor told her her heart has 100% blockage.  You read that correctly.  100%.  Do you know what kept this woman from having a heart attack and probably dying right then and there?  Her body had created it's own bypass to get blood to the heart.  You read that correctly.  CREATED.ITS.OWN.BYPASS.  And though it wasn't functioning fully, hence the symptoms, it kept her alive long enough to get to the doctor.  She is scheduled to have bypass surgery; the medical kind of bypass.

This whole thing is just amazing to me.  It is amazing that a body has the ability to go into survival mode.  That the body has the ability to save itself.  It's amazing this woman is still walking and breathing and enjoying her grandkids all because her body was able to create a lifeline for her until she got herself to the doctor. 

I'm in recovery mode.

Last night I attended a concert with my friend and former roommate, Stephen (hi Stephen!). There were three bands, the first one coming out of nowhere and, I am pretty confident in saying, going nowhere. The name of the band was Violent SOHO.  I think that says it all, really.  I have never liked heavy metal. I still don't. It was painful to hear, though somewhat entertaining to watch. The song that stuck in our heads the most had the lyrics "Fuck you! Fuck you! I hate your face." As Stephen said, "that's the most awesome break up song I've ever heard." Like me, he's good at sarcasm. Honestly, when they were finished, my chest hurt. Thank goodness for beer. Today, I'm in recovery mode from that music, not the beer.

As I came bounding down the steps last night into the family room where MG was playing Monopoly with Sous Chef and CJ, I asked "Do I look rock and roll enough?"  (Nothing over the top, people.  Just skinny jeans, boots that are a combo of horse riding boots and motorcylce riding boots - flat, no high heel of any kind, a shirt and a necklace.)  MG said I looked hot.  CJ, in his always supportive way, said, "I like those boots.  I like the belt buckles on those boots.  Your hair looks pretty."  As I was rushing out the door, CJ then shouted, "Don't forget, I like those boots!"  I love that kid.  And my husband, too, for telling me I looked hot when really I felt like a 42 yr. old who maybe was trying to look 20.

My favorite outfit of the night was a vintage dress, tube socks and Doc Martin-ish shoes.  Beauty!  I'm pretty sure Stephen would refuse to be seen with me if I tried to go to a concert with him dressed like that.  Actually, it was just the tube socks that ruined the outfit.  The rest was fine.

The official opening band was the Black Angels.  If you are interested in music/band information, you can find that HERE.  They have a woman drummer, which I think is way cool.  My fantasy career is to be in a super cool band.  And here's a video.


The headliner was the Raveonettes.  For more information, go HERE.  Again, a band that has a woman, this time as lead vocals.  Love it.  Their drummer only had two drums and that cymbal drum thingie that makes the "tinging" sound when you hit it with the drumstick.  Yes, I know there is an official name for that piece of equipment, but I don't know it.  I picked two of my favorite songs from them to share on video.  Enjoy!




So there is your music lesson for the day.  I hope you enjoy!